Things we hate reading...

Right now, a lot of my DSL customers are getting the new model of DSL modem/router from the ISP because it actually works, but the LAN is configured to treat the modem/router only as a modem, so you can't just swap them out and call it good. So I've been getting this alot:

Cust: "The internet guy came by today and he didn't understand why the network was configured the way it was and said it was all wrong and started unplugging everything and saying he would fix it for us and now nothing works and he says it's your fault cause all he had to do was switch out the modem/router and everything should have worked..."

I show up and the firewall is sitting on the floor, not a cable going to it, and the internet is going straight, unfiltered, into the switch. Phones don't work, the server has gone nuts, workstations wont let anyone log in...etc...
 
frederick said:
Cust: "The internet guy came by today and ..."
Click to expand...

This one is on my list for my business customers as well. One of my clients switched over from DSL to cable, and didn't think they needed to tell me about it. The cable technician showed up, hooked up the connection, and totally screwed up the network. The client called me to say that the wireless network was fine, but nothing else was working. I got there to find the router I had installed was unplugged, and the cable modem/router combo was configured for DHCP. Of course, the workstations were supposed to be going to the server for DNS, so no one could log on to the domain, and... (etc, etc).

"The internet guy couldn't understand why it wasn't working..."
 
I lost my document.
Where was it stored?
In Word.

Word has my document I've been working on for 4 hours, it is locked up and it's saying "this file is corrupted".
Ok, close your document and re-open it.
OK....man I need this done by 5:00 (it's now 4:00)
Reopen your document.
How?
Where did you store it.
I didn't get a chance to save it yet!!!!!!!

What's your e-mail user name and password?
Don't have one.
Yes, you need a user name and password. One was set up when you set up your account.
Never did before. Didn't get one.
How did you log in?
Just clicked the button.

What version of Windows are you using?
Microsoft.

I lost a document I set up in Microsoft!

My computer is slow, I need a bigger hard drive.

Can you get my new Win 8 machine to look and run like my old XP machine?

Why can't you just transfer everything (including programs, etc.) to my new Win 8 machine.

Anti-virus - expired 2005 version!

Close all your programs and go to your desktop.
OK.
What icons do you have and what do you see?
No icon, a coffee cup, stapler, several piles of paper, pen holder, etc.

Why can't I just pull the plug when I'm done, it's so much faster.

What browser are you using?
Microsoft.
Double click the Blue E icon on your desktop.
OK
What does it do?
It says Firefox is already running
?????????????

And on and on and on!
 
HFultzjr said:
I lost my document.
Where was it stored?
In Word.

Word has my document I've been working on for 4 hours, it is locked up and it's saying "this file is corrupted".
Ok, close your document and re-open it.
OK....man I need this done by 5:00 (it's now 4:00)
Reopen your document.
How?
Where did you store it.
I didn't get a chance to save it yet!!!!!!!

What's your e-mail user name and password?
Don't have one.
Yes, you need a user name and password. One was set up when you set up your account.
Never did before. Didn't get one.
How did you log in?
Just clicked the button.

What version of Windows are you using?
Microsoft.

I lost a document I set up in Microsoft!

My computer is slow, I need a bigger hard drive.

Can you get my new Win 8 machine to look and run like my old XP machine?

Why can't you just transfer everything (including programs, etc.) to my new Win 8 machine.

Anti-virus - expired 2005 version!

Close all your programs and go to your desktop.
OK.
What icons do you have and what do you see?
No icon, a coffee cup, stapler, several piles of paper, pen holder, etc.

Why can't I just pull the plug when I'm done, it's so much faster.

What browser are you using?
Microsoft.
Double click the Blue E icon on your desktop.
OK
What does it do?
It says Firefox is already running
?????????????

And on and on and on!
Click to expand...

That sums up about every repair call I've had from my mother.
 
One from today...

"How much?! Just to put a new fan in my laptop?! The part is like $5 on eBay!"


Another...

Me: "What's wrong the the computer, Monsieur/Madame? Can you tell me what happens when you do x or y?"
Them: "Well that's what you're supposed to tell me"
Me: *Vulcan neck pinch*


Customer gets some adware and junk...

"BUT I HAD THE FULL NORTON PROGRAM"


New PC sale...
"Does it have the Microsoft program, oh, and what about Adobe?" :rolleyes:
 
SpaceSquad said:
New PC sale...
"Does it have the Microsoft program, oh, and what about Adobe?" :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

I cannot count the number of people we get here who are convinced and willing to argue that Office is part of Windows and should be included when we sell a new machine or put a new hard drive (with fresh Windows install) into their broken PC.

Sigh. Yes we took it off on purpose so we can sell you something extra :rolleyes:
 
After you changed the Hard Drive on that there computer no body in the office can get internet!

Will you come back and fix the internet for free?
 
Phone Call from Client.
Client: My laptop doesn't boot.
Me: What were you doing last time it was working.
Client: I shut it down and it said updating windows, please wait and something else...
M: ...and?
C: and I yanked the power and battery out because I was in a hurry.
M: *facepalm* and its not booting now?
C: No, next time it started it asked if I wanted to recover the pc and I said yes. Then it started doing some stuff...
M: *thinking* (probably re-installing windows etc from the recovery partition)
C: ...but then it took ages to start and I couldn't wait so I stopped it again. Now it always starts to that recovery screen. But I can't wait all that time...
M: OK. Listen. You probably formatted your hdd and stopped the process of recovery before it had the time to finish. You have to bring the laptop to my shop so I can reinstall windows if you want I can try to recover your files for an extra fee of xx.
C: OMG!!! BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!! NOOOOO!
 
"Eset sucks, I had to shut it off because it wouldn't let me play a free game I like" from a customer last week whose computer crashed due to 40-50 infections after we cleaned his computer a month ago and installed eset
 
Client like that charge full rate and reiterate that they should not be disabling av. Also that if the av flagged a site like that there's likely a reason.
 
This my friend, is the thread of the year lol. Or the thread that at keeps on giving Merry Christmas! :D

This is for the WIN though. Words I love reading!

"We just set up our email through hosted exchange on GoDaddy, desktops, laptops and Outlook, Androids and iphones, and my wife's Android calendar isn't working, do you think that will be 4 hours to fix, should we buy your 4 hour package?"

I wish lol
 
Had this one this week.

"I haven't switched on the machine since you worked on it last year"

Even though there are log entries for a few days ago and the Windows 10 nag is on the task bar. So must have been switched on in the last year.
 
@Just Larry YES. Just had one the other day:

Customer: You fixed my computer a month ago and now its doing all this crazy stuff. I thought you fixed it? I havent used it since you said you fixed it a month ago.

Me after picking up laptop and looking at the logs- calling customer back:

me: Do you still contend that you havent turned it on for a month?
Customer: Yes, I hope you will fix it right this time.
me: I see in the logs that you were on the computer in April about every other day. I see you installed 'coupon printer' and some other stuff.
Customer: Oh, well I did get on once or twice, But that was at McDonald's.
--------------------------------------------
Customer: I am having problems with my desktop.
Me: What seems to be the problem?
Customer: Every time I open it, It goes to this Google thing. Can you fix that?
--------------------------------------------

Customer: Can you make my password easy?
I set the password to EASY :)

---------------------------------------------
 
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