My Boss...

[NETWizz]

So, my boss comes into my office today...

Boss: I think we should "Defrag" all the computers to make them faster.

Me: Oh. Uh... Yeah... Right.

[Thinks of it as this week's BUZZWORD... Contemplates writing it in BIG, BOLD letters on the Ink board and whenever she wants help just saying, we are all tied up in here doing the "defrag"]

Boss: Yeah, you know about Defrag don't you?

Me: Yup... You listened to Leo Lapporte again didn't you?

Boss: Yeah and he says everyone should defrag.

Me: Quit it. Stop listening to Leo; he is a BAD influence! He talks as if he "walks on water" and everyone takes everything he says as gospel.

Boss: So, defragging won't help then?

Me: It might a little bit, but it won't part the Red Sea.

Boss: Well if it would help I think we should do that don't you?

Me: It probably wouldn't be worth the effort to figure out a way to do it to ALL our workstations.

Boss: Well, when was everything last de-fragged?

Me: Never unless they are Windows 7, which automatically does it periodically.

Boss: What about the other systems?

Me: They Never get defragged.

Boss: Why not?

Me: Because when they get imaged they are automatically defragged in that the files are all layed down contiguously, then base software gets installed, and for the most part 95% of every computer's setup is exactly the same and never changes. Heck, 95% of data gets saved to the network too, so it isn't like anything happens to ever really fragment the data.

Boss: Well if it would help even a little don't you want to do it as a project?

Me: Not really?

Boss: That isn't the answer I had hoped for.

Me: Well, giving me a raise of an additional $60,000 might make me a little, tiny bit more motivated and I might even do my job 5% better..., so why not give me a giant raise?

Boss: I would like to give you all a giant raise, but there are other things that we need to spend the money on, first.

Me: Exactly, and we have other projects to work on that are MUCH more important than dragging. Now, if you want EVERY computer "defragged," just let me know it is something you specifically want done, and I will get it done for you and even provide some reporting, but don't expect to notice ANY difference after the project is done...

Me: If you really want things to run faster, may I recommend you upgrade XYZ site that has a 1.5 mb T-1 line and 120 computers all running a Citrix Application from it complaining that it is slow to something faster?

Boss: Am not really sure bandwidth is the issue with that site. Did you ever send me an email telling me how yow you know it is the problem?

Me: Yes, and it is full of charts and graphs from Manage Engine Net Flow, Opsman, etc...

Boss: Well, you know I don't read those things, so what do we need to do?

Me: Fix the money situation so we don't have some sites with gigabit WAN and 60 computers and other sites with 120 computers and T1 WAN... I mean it is so slow we had to setup a Domain Controller out there or it took 9 minutes to logon AND/OR couldn't apply all the Group Policies! Now, we change a password and the replication monitor shows half a dozen failures before it goes through... The ONLY fix is to connect directly to that Domain Controller and change the password or unlock an account, but it takes like 9 minutes waiting on the tool to do that task.

Boss: Will paying for gigabit at site XYZ fix it pretty quick?

Me: Instantly.

Boss: Can we get it done tomorrow then?

Me: No, Light-Rail can't pull the fiber in the building in one day, and even if they could I would need to order the fiber transceivers...

Boss: Thanks...


******************************

Next week, I am sure she will read something about some exploit that Impacts people with the Shockwave player and ask us to update that, when we don't even use that product.

Already, she needed hand holding to fill out a form-fill-able PDF because Adobe Reader 11 displays it in Protected View, and you have to click "Options > Enable Features" or something to that extent. Hell it specifically says, "Some features are disabled blah blah blah... click "Options" to change this..." and she has called like three times!

I am REALLY thinking strongly about grabbing the Adobe 11 Group Policies and seeing if I can configure trusted locations or something for our Intranet, servers, network drives, etc... but I have other things to do, first.

In the last two weeks I have:

1. Migrated from SCCM 2007 to SCCM 2012 AND re-created ALL the packages, the Inventory, OS Deployment, and Remote Control... Setup ALL our Primary and Secondary site servers!

2. Rolled out Adobe Reader 11

3. Updated ALL our Citrix Clients to 13.3 Citrix Receiver

4. Took away ALL users' Admin rights on each computer's COMPUTERNAME\Adminsitrators group UNLESS they are in an AD Group of protected Local Admins not to trim out... What has happened is for years and years techs would add DOMAIN\usserid to COMPUTERNAME\Administrators effectively making a user an Admim on his/her computer...

^^^ NOT anymore

5. I updated Symantec End-Point Protection from 11 to 12

6. Updated Backup Exec from 2010 to 2010 R3

7. Updated ALL our Domain Controllers to 2012

8. Moved ALL our shares that were not on DFS to be served on DFS with a consistent Namespace and Replication.

9.I setup a script to automatically run nightly and under each AD Organizational Unit's Deparment (not the whole Domain though it would work) and create a Group Called "PATH-TO-OU Group" If the path is OU=Dept 1,OU=Departments,DC=DOMAIN,DC=SC,DC=GOV the group name would be "DEPT 1-Departments-Domain-SC-GOV Group" AND the script automatically empties the group and fills it with ALL users below that OU.

10. I configured Gmail Active Directory Sync (GADS) to automatically take those department groups and sync them with their matching Google Apps Gmail groups...

Hence, IF the helpdesk moves a user to a new site, or creates a new use in a new site, that night he or she automatically has his or her group memberships updated in Active Diretory... THEN next time GADS syncs they are put into the correct email groups automatically.



That is all I have done in two weeks, but let's not forget the holly Defrag, boss, lol! ...To believe she gets paid $129,000, and I thought I had it good



My next project is to remove Java except the most Up-To-Date version. Turns out we have Java 1.3.x, 1.4.x 5.x 6.x, and 7.x out there... EEK Going to simply remove it all because, "We Don't Need That!"

We have been scratching our heads asking ourselves, "What the hell would anyone need Java for anyway?"

I guess AFTER we remove it, we will find out.

 

[brock029]

Technically you could quickly set up a group policy to schedule a defrag on non vista and 7 workstations. One of many examples http://www.pcreview.co.uk/forums/group-policy-defrag-t2453058.html


But I completely understand what you mean, I don't think my "boss" knows im an it support tech and web developer. The other day he says all he sees me doing is socializing. Everytime I see him I am working on someone's pc.

 

[thecomputerguy]

YEAHhhh BUT WHO'S GOING TO INSTALL AVG AND PASTA ON THE SYSTEMS?

 

[NETWizz]

YEAHhhh BUT WHO'S GOING TO INSTALL AVG AND PASTA ON THE SYSTEMS?

I don't know... will make that determination next week when the request comes...

The better question is, "Who is going to figure out how to upgrade from the 11 different versions of PASTA we have running to the latest version consistently on ALL workstations, when only some can be upgraded, some must be removed, some are not MSIs, and some cannot be removed silently..." <==Who is going to deal with that clusterfuck



If I were going to do the Defrag, I would probably just use Group Policy Preferences to setup a Scheduled Task...


Computer Configuration\Preferences\Control Panel Settings\Scheduled Tasks

... and B.S. my way through it answering questions like the schedule, drive C:, defrag.exe, user account... color of my shoes (whatever it wants to know)

... Would probably create it in a new GPO and tag the whole blasted thing with a Windows XP only WMI filter to try to minimize screwing something else up... Probably tag it to my Test Computers WMI filter first.

 

[Altster]

And if you weren't there to do all of this, would it ever get done (correctly)?

 

[imageblur]

This is why I left the corporate world. Another over paid boss that doesn't have a clue what is going on, and at the same time I'm sure they take all the credit for all of your hard work.

P.S.

F*ck Leo Laporte.

 

[NETWizz]

This is why I left the corporate world. Another over paid boss that doesn't have a clue what is going on, and at the same time I'm sure they take all the credit for all of your hard work.

P.S.

F*ck Leo Laporte.

Pretty much spot on... My boss needs help with things like finding her Google Documents now in Google Drive.

 

[callthatgirl]

Honestly, the minute she asked you to defrag all the computers. your answer should have been, "yes, I will get to it today"

And do it (or write up a task execution check list at least to show her you did what she requested)

She's your boss, doesn't matter what your opinion is. (read my next posting for more information on this response)

 

[TenYardFight]

Honestly, the minute she asked you to defrag all the computers. your answer should have been, "yes, I will get to it today"

And do it.

She's your boss, doesn't matter what your opinion is.

I can appreciate the sentiment, but I disagree. She probably expects him to advise her...Respectfully, if course.

 

[Blue]

She's your boss, doesn't matter what your opinion is.

If I blindly did what I was told, my (and others') organization would collapse. I'm relied upon and hired for my educated opinion on almost everything to do with CIT. Otherwise, what the Hell am I doing being a CIT manager? They could hire a Rhesus Macaque to just sit there and nod, if that's all that was required.

 

[callthatgirl]

Blue, I get you and TYF, but if you read his dialogue, she's not reading his reports anyway, and she's not technical enough to understand. She's still the boss and makes decisions (even if she's not seemingly qualified).

If I was Netwizz, I would send a simple report of a few things to get her mind spinning, such as time, execution, value and most importantly the money it would take to get this done. It may not be cost effective and her bottom line will be money for this "project".

Boss: Well if it would help even a little don't you want to do it as a project?

Me: Not really?

Boss: That isn't the answer I had hoped for.

These are things that the boss won't forget when it comes to reviews and promotions. A defrag project seems like a no-brainer to make her a wee bit happy and you're doing what is requested.

 

[gikstar]

She's your boss, doesn't matter what your opinion is.

That may work in your small business but that doesn't work in the Corporate world. People are promoted into positions and departments that they have never worked in before. If we blindly followed their 'orders' things would get really messed up. If things get messed up, who do you think will get blamed?

I personally found it better to sit down with my staff and go over what I wanted to implement and then listen to their input. If they could come up with good solid reasons as to why it shouldn't be done, I canned the idea. Then again, I had trusted my staff and valued their opinion, and they felt they were part of a 'team', not a dictatorship.

my 2 cents

 

[callthatgirl]

Gik, before everyone in the corporate world goes nuts on me with my comment about "it doesn't matter what his opinion is", I worked in the corporate world for 7 years before I went on my own, so I get it. I also know that ideas run like crazy in IT departments and no one likes extra work, especially server admins. It's not the project that is the issue, it's how he's dealing with it and his conversation. And her perception of the conversation (Even if he thinks it's the dumbest idea in the world).

I personally found it better to sit down with my staff and go over what I wanted to implement and then listen to their input. I totally agree, but she sounds like the type that likes and idea and just runs with it, doesn't matter what the team thinks lol. I'm just saying he's better off by closing her off, doing what she requested, even if it's just an outline of the work to do so can see a simple proposal. Maybe I should have just said that in the first post.

 

[Blue]

I personally found it better to sit down with my staff and go over what I wanted to implement and then listen to their input. I totally agree, but she sounds like the type that likes and idea and just runs with it, doesn't matter what the team thinks lol. I'm just saying he's better off by closing her off, doing what she requested, even if it's just an outline of the work to do so can see a simple proposal.

Now that is something with which I can definitely agree.

 

[cmonova]

I actually agreed with Lisa on the "she is still the boss and makes decisions" comment.

NOw on this part:

Boss: So, defragging won't help then?

Me: It might a little bit, but it won't part the Red Sea.

But then the banter goes back and forth even longer. It's apparent from the conversation that you have absolutely no respect for this person and it's all good if that is what works for you.

Gikstar...Absolutely correct people are promoted into positions and departments that they have never worked in before. By the same token many a tech is given a job and can't really do the job so it evens itself out.

I have been in management positions for many many years and when a project comes up or even the daily routine I have always said what was going to be done. I do not hold meetings to decide what is going to be done nor do I solicit ideas from others as to what they think is the best way to do something. I was put in a position of authority (like it or not) and that's the bottom line.

Now if we are doing a massive migration or something like that then yes I will have it all documented from start to finish. THEN if one of my people see a problem I am more than glad if they approach me and say they think there is an issue. 100% no problem at all...BUT, if they were to talk to me or down to me as the OP's conversation then there would be no need for a conversation because that person would no longer be employed.

My point is it's a two way street. Yes some clowns in corporate world and yes some clowns that are techs in the corporate world also.

 

[andcorptech]

Honestly, the minute she asked you to defrag all the computers. your answer should have been, "yes, I will get to it today"

And do it (or write up a task execution check list at least to show her you did what she requested)

She's your boss, doesn't matter what your opinion is. (read my next posting for more information on this response)

Problem with this is "self preservation". Your concept of "shes the boss" will only work when all things are fair. In my past experience, things are rarely fair and if doing stupid, unecessary tasks take you away from your normal required duties then one day someones going to notice and tear you a new oriface. It doesnt matter to them who told you to do them, nor will most bosses like the one stated above back you up when crap hits the fan.
I have seen too many good techs take the fall for dumbass butt sucking bosses and if I was back in that world I would do whatever if takes to save my own ass and not the bosses.
Guess thats why I am self employed now.

 

[TenYardFight]

Interesting topic, for sure. Good points on both "sides" if you want to call them that!

 

[PBComputer]

I would say the pros and cons, and verbally and in an email. Then if they still what it done go ahead, but I would even push it out via gpo or gfi so it was almost almost automated