NETWizz
Well-Known Member
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So, my boss comes into my office today...
Boss: I think we should "Defrag" all the computers to make them faster.
Me: Oh. Uh... Yeah... Right.
[Thinks of it as this week's BUZZWORD... Contemplates writing it in BIG, BOLD letters on the Ink board and whenever she wants help just saying, we are all tied up in here doing the "defrag"]
Boss: Yeah, you know about Defrag don't you?
Me: Yup... You listened to Leo Lapporte again didn't you?
Boss: Yeah and he says everyone should defrag.
Me: Quit it. Stop listening to Leo; he is a BAD influence! He talks as if he "walks on water" and everyone takes everything he says as gospel.
Boss: So, defragging won't help then?
Me: It might a little bit, but it won't part the Red Sea.
Boss: Well if it would help I think we should do that don't you?
Me: It probably wouldn't be worth the effort to figure out a way to do it to ALL our workstations.
Boss: Well, when was everything last de-fragged?
Me: Never unless they are Windows 7, which automatically does it periodically.
Boss: What about the other systems?
Me: They Never get defragged.
Boss: Why not?
Me: Because when they get imaged they are automatically defragged in that the files are all layed down contiguously, then base software gets installed, and for the most part 95% of every computer's setup is exactly the same and never changes. Heck, 95% of data gets saved to the network too, so it isn't like anything happens to ever really fragment the data.
Boss: Well if it would help even a little don't you want to do it as a project?
Me: Not really?
Boss: That isn't the answer I had hoped for.
Me: Well, giving me a raise of an additional $60,000 might make me a little, tiny bit more motivated and I might even do my job 5% better..., so why not give me a giant raise?
Boss: I would like to give you all a giant raise, but there are other things that we need to spend the money on, first.
Me: Exactly, and we have other projects to work on that are MUCH more important than dragging. Now, if you want EVERY computer "defragged," just let me know it is something you specifically want done, and I will get it done for you and even provide some reporting, but don't expect to notice ANY difference after the project is done...
Me: If you really want things to run faster, may I recommend you upgrade XYZ site that has a 1.5 mb T-1 line and 120 computers all running a Citrix Application from it complaining that it is slow to something faster?
Boss: Am not really sure bandwidth is the issue with that site. Did you ever send me an email telling me how yow you know it is the problem?
Me: Yes, and it is full of charts and graphs from Manage Engine Net Flow, Opsman, etc...
Boss: Well, you know I don't read those things, so what do we need to do?
Me: Fix the money situation so we don't have some sites with gigabit WAN and 60 computers and other sites with 120 computers and T1 WAN... I mean it is so slow we had to setup a Domain Controller out there or it took 9 minutes to logon AND/OR couldn't apply all the Group Policies! Now, we change a password and the replication monitor shows half a dozen failures before it goes through... The ONLY fix is to connect directly to that Domain Controller and change the password or unlock an account, but it takes like 9 minutes waiting on the tool to do that task.
Boss: Will paying for gigabit at site XYZ fix it pretty quick?
Me: Instantly.
Boss: Can we get it done tomorrow then?
Me: No, Light-Rail can't pull the fiber in the building in one day, and even if they could I would need to order the fiber transceivers...
Boss: Thanks...
******************************
Next week, I am sure she will read something about some exploit that Impacts people with the Shockwave player and ask us to update that, when we don't even use that product.
Already, she needed hand holding to fill out a form-fill-able PDF because Adobe Reader 11 displays it in Protected View, and you have to click "Options > Enable Features" or something to that extent. Hell it specifically says, "Some features are disabled blah blah blah... click "Options" to change this..." and she has called like three times!
I am REALLY thinking strongly about grabbing the Adobe 11 Group Policies and seeing if I can configure trusted locations or something for our Intranet, servers, network drives, etc... but I have other things to do, first.
In the last two weeks I have:
1. Migrated from SCCM 2007 to SCCM 2012 AND re-created ALL the packages, the Inventory, OS Deployment, and Remote Control... Setup ALL our Primary and Secondary site servers!
2. Rolled out Adobe Reader 11
3. Updated ALL our Citrix Clients to 13.3 Citrix Receiver
4. Took away ALL users' Admin rights on each computer's COMPUTERNAME\Adminsitrators group UNLESS they are in an AD Group of protected Local Admins not to trim out... What has happened is for years and years techs would add DOMAIN\usserid to COMPUTERNAME\Administrators effectively making a user an Admim on his/her computer...
^^^ NOT anymore
5. I updated Symantec End-Point Protection from 11 to 12
6. Updated Backup Exec from 2010 to 2010 R3
7. Updated ALL our Domain Controllers to 2012
8. Moved ALL our shares that were not on DFS to be served on DFS with a consistent Namespace and Replication.
9.I setup a script to automatically run nightly and under each AD Organizational Unit's Deparment (not the whole Domain though it would work) and create a Group Called "PATH-TO-OU Group" If the path is OU=Dept 1,OU=Departments,DC=DOMAIN,DC=SC,DC=GOV the group name would be "DEPT 1-Departments-Domain-SC-GOV Group" AND the script automatically empties the group and fills it with ALL users below that OU.
10. I configured Gmail Active Directory Sync (GADS) to automatically take those department groups and sync them with their matching Google Apps Gmail groups...
Hence, IF the helpdesk moves a user to a new site, or creates a new use in a new site, that night he or she automatically has his or her group memberships updated in Active Diretory... THEN next time GADS syncs they are put into the correct email groups automatically.
That is all I have done in two weeks, but let's not forget the holly Defrag, boss, lol! ...To believe she gets paid $129,000, and I thought I had it good
My next project is to remove Java except the most Up-To-Date version. Turns out we have Java 1.3.x, 1.4.x 5.x 6.x, and 7.x out there... EEK Going to simply remove it all because, "We Don't Need That!"
We have been scratching our heads asking ourselves, "What the hell would anyone need Java for anyway?"
I guess AFTER we remove it, we will find out.
Boss: I think we should "Defrag" all the computers to make them faster.
Me: Oh. Uh... Yeah... Right.
[Thinks of it as this week's BUZZWORD... Contemplates writing it in BIG, BOLD letters on the Ink board and whenever she wants help just saying, we are all tied up in here doing the "defrag"]
Boss: Yeah, you know about Defrag don't you?
Me: Yup... You listened to Leo Lapporte again didn't you?
Boss: Yeah and he says everyone should defrag.
Me: Quit it. Stop listening to Leo; he is a BAD influence! He talks as if he "walks on water" and everyone takes everything he says as gospel.
Boss: So, defragging won't help then?
Me: It might a little bit, but it won't part the Red Sea.
Boss: Well if it would help I think we should do that don't you?
Me: It probably wouldn't be worth the effort to figure out a way to do it to ALL our workstations.
Boss: Well, when was everything last de-fragged?
Me: Never unless they are Windows 7, which automatically does it periodically.
Boss: What about the other systems?
Me: They Never get defragged.
Boss: Why not?
Me: Because when they get imaged they are automatically defragged in that the files are all layed down contiguously, then base software gets installed, and for the most part 95% of every computer's setup is exactly the same and never changes. Heck, 95% of data gets saved to the network too, so it isn't like anything happens to ever really fragment the data.
Boss: Well if it would help even a little don't you want to do it as a project?
Me: Not really?
Boss: That isn't the answer I had hoped for.
Me: Well, giving me a raise of an additional $60,000 might make me a little, tiny bit more motivated and I might even do my job 5% better..., so why not give me a giant raise?
Boss: I would like to give you all a giant raise, but there are other things that we need to spend the money on, first.
Me: Exactly, and we have other projects to work on that are MUCH more important than dragging. Now, if you want EVERY computer "defragged," just let me know it is something you specifically want done, and I will get it done for you and even provide some reporting, but don't expect to notice ANY difference after the project is done...
Me: If you really want things to run faster, may I recommend you upgrade XYZ site that has a 1.5 mb T-1 line and 120 computers all running a Citrix Application from it complaining that it is slow to something faster?
Boss: Am not really sure bandwidth is the issue with that site. Did you ever send me an email telling me how yow you know it is the problem?
Me: Yes, and it is full of charts and graphs from Manage Engine Net Flow, Opsman, etc...
Boss: Well, you know I don't read those things, so what do we need to do?
Me: Fix the money situation so we don't have some sites with gigabit WAN and 60 computers and other sites with 120 computers and T1 WAN... I mean it is so slow we had to setup a Domain Controller out there or it took 9 minutes to logon AND/OR couldn't apply all the Group Policies! Now, we change a password and the replication monitor shows half a dozen failures before it goes through... The ONLY fix is to connect directly to that Domain Controller and change the password or unlock an account, but it takes like 9 minutes waiting on the tool to do that task.
Boss: Will paying for gigabit at site XYZ fix it pretty quick?
Me: Instantly.
Boss: Can we get it done tomorrow then?
Me: No, Light-Rail can't pull the fiber in the building in one day, and even if they could I would need to order the fiber transceivers...
Boss: Thanks...
******************************
Next week, I am sure she will read something about some exploit that Impacts people with the Shockwave player and ask us to update that, when we don't even use that product.
Already, she needed hand holding to fill out a form-fill-able PDF because Adobe Reader 11 displays it in Protected View, and you have to click "Options > Enable Features" or something to that extent. Hell it specifically says, "Some features are disabled blah blah blah... click "Options" to change this..." and she has called like three times!
I am REALLY thinking strongly about grabbing the Adobe 11 Group Policies and seeing if I can configure trusted locations or something for our Intranet, servers, network drives, etc... but I have other things to do, first.
In the last two weeks I have:
1. Migrated from SCCM 2007 to SCCM 2012 AND re-created ALL the packages, the Inventory, OS Deployment, and Remote Control... Setup ALL our Primary and Secondary site servers!
2. Rolled out Adobe Reader 11
3. Updated ALL our Citrix Clients to 13.3 Citrix Receiver
4. Took away ALL users' Admin rights on each computer's COMPUTERNAME\Adminsitrators group UNLESS they are in an AD Group of protected Local Admins not to trim out... What has happened is for years and years techs would add DOMAIN\usserid to COMPUTERNAME\Administrators effectively making a user an Admim on his/her computer...
^^^ NOT anymore
5. I updated Symantec End-Point Protection from 11 to 12
6. Updated Backup Exec from 2010 to 2010 R3
7. Updated ALL our Domain Controllers to 2012
8. Moved ALL our shares that were not on DFS to be served on DFS with a consistent Namespace and Replication.
9.I setup a script to automatically run nightly and under each AD Organizational Unit's Deparment (not the whole Domain though it would work) and create a Group Called "PATH-TO-OU Group" If the path is OU=Dept 1,OU=Departments,DC=DOMAIN,DC=SC,DC=GOV the group name would be "DEPT 1-Departments-Domain-SC-GOV Group" AND the script automatically empties the group and fills it with ALL users below that OU.
10. I configured Gmail Active Directory Sync (GADS) to automatically take those department groups and sync them with their matching Google Apps Gmail groups...
Hence, IF the helpdesk moves a user to a new site, or creates a new use in a new site, that night he or she automatically has his or her group memberships updated in Active Diretory... THEN next time GADS syncs they are put into the correct email groups automatically.
That is all I have done in two weeks, but let's not forget the holly Defrag, boss, lol!
...To believe she gets paid $129,000, and I thought I had it good My next project is to remove Java except the most Up-To-Date version. Turns out we have Java 1.3.x, 1.4.x 5.x 6.x, and 7.x out there... EEK
Going to simply remove it all because, "We Don't Need That!" We have been scratching our heads asking ourselves, "What the hell would anyone need Java for anyway?"
I guess AFTER we remove it, we will find out.
