Humor Section!

[ThatPlace928]

We in TN endorse this fully.

So does Bullhead City, Arizona....... lol

 

[frase]

View attachment 17812

Then some people stay in the right lane here in AUS, all the whilst going under the speed limit. Or one idiot who decides to speed past and overtake oneself, only to get one car ahead and meet them at the traffic lights.

 

[ThatPlace928]

Then some people stay in the right lane here in AUS, all the whilst going under the speed limit. Or one idiot who decides to speed past and overtake oneself, only to get one car ahead and meet them at the traffic lights.

Sounds so familiar. Must be the same way everywhere that has vehicles........ lol

 

[frase]

 

[Kitten Kong]

A guy walks into a bar with his dog, plops him on a barstool, and orders a bourbon & Coke. Then he turns to the dog and says, “What’ll you have, Rover?”
Rover looks at the bartender and says, “Scotch and soda - light on the soda.”
The bartender stares. “No way. That dog can’t talk - you’re a ventriloquist.”
“Nope, he’s the real deal,” the man says. “I’m going to the restroom - talk to him yourself. But don’t let him out of your sight. He’s worth a fortune.”
When the man comes back… no dog.
“Where’s Rover?!”
“I didn’t believe he could talk, so I gave him a couple of bucks to get me a newspaper and some chewing tobacco at the drugstore.”
No sign of him at the drugstore, so they search all over town until eventually they find him in an alley… having a whale of a time on top of a French poodle.
The man shouts, “Rover! What on earth are you doing?! You’ve never done this before!”
Rover pants and says… “First time I ever had any money!”

 

[Markverhyden]

I guess this is one way to address a workplace safety issue.....

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[frase]

Took me until I read what the reply was...

 

[Blues]

Took me until I read what the reply was...

View attachment 17823

I read it 3 times before I realized it and figured that reply portion of the image would say something to that effect.

 

[Markverhyden]

Must of been a slow day in the news room.........

 

[frase]

Must of been a slow day in the news room.........

View attachment 17827

What if I do not scroll?

 

[Markverhyden]

What if I do not scroll?

I think what really matters is which hand you are using to scroll..........

 

[Kitten Kong]

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."

Immediately, the husband drove down town to confront the pharmacist, and demand an apology

Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it... This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.

"Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire."

"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing."

He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of coins against the cash register drawer to make change & they spilled all over the floor.

I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins and the phone was still ringing.

"When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke."

"Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and when I finally got back to answer it, it was your wife wanting to know how to use a rectal thermometer.

Believe me Mister.... as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."

 

[frase]

Alien Face Hugger Jesus.