Another issue (when the guys are out of the office and I answer the phone):
Customer: I have a problem with the computer.
Me: Okay, well all the guys are out, but I would be happy to help you.
Me: Would it be okay if I remote control your computer, so I can see the problem?
Customer: Sure. Take a look at the problem...
Me: What is the Asset Tag on the computer, so I can find it???
Customer: Where do I find that?
Me: It is on the computer.
Customer: Where? I don't see it!
Me: It is a green sticker with a Barcode on it attached directly to the front or top of the computer. It is NOT attached to the monitor.
Customer: Mine don't have that.
Me: If it doesn't have the sticker we do not support it.
Customer: It is a work computer!
Me: The sticker is on the box itself usually next to the Serial Number or Service Tag. If you cannot find the Asset Tag, the Serial Number will be okay.
Customer: Oh, you mean to look on the "Hard Drive"; I see it. It's 192-032
Me: No, the big box is the computer. It is NOT the "Hard Drive"; anyway, glad you found the asset tag. Thanks
Customer: What do you mean it is not the Hard Drive?
Me: The Hard Drive is an internal part that goes inside the box and stores all your files, operating system, and stuff.
Customer: So, it's the Brain?
Me: No.
Customer: You aren't making any sense. What are you talking about?
Me: The thing on your desk is an Flat-Panel Monitor or Flat Screen... the big box IS the "computer"
Customer: Where is the hard drive plug in to the monitor and keyboard then?
Me: It doesn't. *Bashes Head*
________________________
Me: Okay, I am remote controlling your computer now and can see your screen. You have not logged in. What is the problem?
Customer: There is something wrong with it. The stupid thing isn't taking my password! It keeps saying, "The system could not log you on. Make sure your User name and domain are correct, then type your password again. Letters in passwords must be typed using correct case."
Me: Oh, your computer is just fine but you need your password changed.
Customer: NO, If my computer were okay it would let me sign in!!! and I am getting really tired of dealing with you guys! Nothing ever works, and you aren't doing anything to fix it. It is so bad that SEVERAL computers I checked won't let me log in! You have a LOT of screwed up computers!
Me: Okay, your password was reset to "Welcome!" and it will prompt you to change it.
Customer: I am tired of always having to change my password!
I just changed it Yesterday!!!
Me: It will prompt you to change it the first time you logon...
Customer: Okay, it says, "
The password supplied does not meet the minimum complexity requirements."
Customer:
Now what do I do?
Me: Type a more complicated password.
Customer: Okay, now it says: "
The passwords you typed do not match."
Me: Okay, try again typing it twice...
Customer: Now it says:
"The Username or old password is incorrect."
Me: Put the old password and then type the new one twice...
Customer:
But I already told you the old password isn't working!!!
Me: The old password would be "Welcome!" that you just used to logon...
Customer: Oh... Okay,
it changed my password!
Customer: Okay, now wait for me to try it on my other computer okay??
Me: Okay...
Customer: You see.
My other computer is still messed up. You said this would take care of it but as usual it hasn't!!!
Me: Is the caps lock key on?
Customer: How do I check? Wait. Yeah. It's on. Okay it works now.
Me: Alright... Thanks. Have a great day.
Customer: Where do I send the complaint forms about the helpdesk guys?
Me: Oh, please send them to me. I am their supervisor. Thanks
Me: *gets complaints about my employees several days later... reads them and laughs*
A week later: My supervisor wants to talk to me... Apparently I was rude and unhelpful to someone on the phone when I was covering and my guys were out.