Humor Section!

[Porthos]

 

[ThatPlace928]

Bullhead City's PD have a great sense of humor....... lol

 

[ThatPlace928]

 

[ThatPlace928]

One thing I love about Arizona is that we never have to change our clocks here.

 

[GTP]

View attachment 17926

One thing I love about Arizona is that we never have to change our clocks here.

It doesn't worry me as all clocks change automatically and have done for years now.

 

[ThatPlace928]

I had a phone conversation today with a very nice young chap from Pakistan. This is how it went:
"Hello sir, how are you today?"
"I'm very well, thank you for asking. And how are you? And, more to the point, WHO are you?"
"Sir, my name is Hamish , and I'm calling you from Microsoft".
"Microsoft, eh? Is that a city in Pakistan? How's the weather there today?"
" No, sir - MICROSOFT, the computer company. I'm calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer and -"
"REALLY?? Well, that's quite concerning......"
"Yes sir, it can become very serious indeed, but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you. Now, if you -"
"No, I meant it's very concerning because you see I don't HAVE a computer".
"You don't?"
"I don't".
"Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop sir -"
"Don't have one".
"Ipad?"
"Nope".
"Tablet?"
"Nope, I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don't even have a telephone".
After a few seconds of silence he said "Ah, sir, you are lying to me now!"
I said "Well, you started it!!" and put the phone down.

 

[ThatPlace928]

 

[GTP]

View attachment 17930

Ladies and Gentlemen - fresh off their world tour of living room couches and kitchen countertops, it’s the only band that naps harder than they rock! Sharpen your claws and hide your tuna, because the kings of cat rock have scratched their way to the top of the charts. With Misty Clawford on drums, Princess Fuzzington on keyboards, Whiskers McGee on rhythm guitar, Tiggy Stardust on lead guitar and caterwauling vocals that could wake the dead - or at least the dog next door, and Sir Pounce-a-Lot on bass, it’s the legends of litterbox rock - give it up for… Meowtallica!

 

[ThatPlace928]

Ladies and Gentlemen - fresh off their world tour of living room couches and kitchen countertops, it’s the only band that naps harder than they rock! Sharpen your claws and hide your tuna, because the kings of cat rock have scratched their way to the top of the charts. With Misty Clawford on drums, Princess Fuzzington on keyboards, Whiskers McGee on rhythm guitar, Tiggy Stardust on lead guitar and caterwauling vocals that could wake the dead - or at least the dog next door, and Sir Pounce-a-Lot on bass, it’s the legends of litterbox rock - give it up for… Meowtallica!

lmao........ that was great...... Thank you!!!

 

[timeshifter]

I had a phone conversation today with a very nice young chap from Pakistan. This is how it went:
"Hello sir, how are you today?"
"I'm very well, thank you for asking. And how are you? And, more to the point, WHO are you?"
"Sir, my name is Hamish , and I'm calling you from Microsoft".
"Microsoft, eh? Is that a city in Pakistan? How's the weather there today?"
" No, sir - MICROSOFT, the computer company. I'm calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer and -"
"REALLY?? Well, that's quite concerning......"
"Yes sir, it can become very serious indeed, but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you. Now, if you -"
"No, I meant it's very concerning because you see I don't HAVE a computer".
"You don't?"
"I don't".
"Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop sir -"
"Don't have one".
"Ipad?"
"Nope".
"Tablet?"
"Nope, I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don't even have a telephone".
After a few seconds of silence he said "Ah, sir, you are lying to me now!"
I said "Well, you started it!!" and put the phone down.

reminds me of this one from years ago, works best if you get two people who haven't seen it before and have them take turns reading the lines - one the hotel clerk and one the guest

(Reading hints: You are on the phone. The other party is also in the hotel.)

Morny, rune sore-bees.

Oh sorry, I thought I dialed room service.

Rye. Rune sore-bees. Morny. Jewish to odor sunteen?

Yes, order something. This is room thirteen-oh-five. I want…

Okay, torino-fie. Yes plea?

I’d like some bacon and eggs.

Ow July then?

What?

Aches. Ow July then? Pry, boy, pooch…?

Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled, please.

Ow July thee baycome? Crease?

Crisp will be fine.

Okay. An Santos?

What?

Santos. July Santos?

Uh…I don’t know…I don’t think so.

No? Judo one toes?

Look. I really feel bad about this, but I just don’t know what judo-one-toes means. I’m sorry…

Toes! Toes! Why Jew Don Juan toes? Ow bow eenlish mopping we bother?

English muffin! I’ve got it! You were saying toast! Fine. An English muffin will be fine.

We bother?

No. Just put the bother on the side.

Wad?

I’m sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side.

Copy?

I feel terrible about this but…

Copy. Copy, tea, mill…

Coffee!! Yes, coffee please. And that’s all.

One Minnie. Ass rune torino-fie, strangle-aches, crease baycome, tossy eenlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy. Rye?

Whatever you say.

Okay. Tenjewberrymud.

You’re welcome.

 

[ThatPlace928]

 

[ThatPlace928]

 

[ThatPlace928]

 

[GTP]

View attachment 17932

I wouldn't eat meat like this either! If someone served me raw meat I'd throw it back at them!

 

[britechguy]

I wouldn't eat meat like this either! If someone served me raw meat I'd throw it back at them!

But every level of doneness was shown on that fork, from "blue/bleu" rare at the top to well-done at the bottom. There's something for every doneness taste on that fork. I'm the two steps below blue, but eating well done steak is like eating liver, for me.

 

[ThatPlace928]

But every level of doneness was shown on that fork, from "blue/bleu" rare at the top to well-done at the bottom. There's something for every doneness taste on that fork. I'm the two steps below blue, but eating well done steak is like eating liver, for me.

Rare to medium rare for me. It's juicier and more flavorful, to me.

 

[GTP]

Notwithstanding the bacteria danger of raw and improperly cooked foods, I don't want it to move when I cut it. It needs to be cooked...properly.

And in my opinion, there should be one more level added to the very bottom of the fork...properly cooked!

 

[frase]

Let the steak simmer in Hell for 5 minutes for me, very well done.

 

[britechguy]

Chacun à son goût.

My sister likes her steak akin to shoe leather (and it sounds like @frase and @GTP do as well). I can't even deal with the degree of well done shown on the "bottom of that fork." I had an aunt (and know other people) who have said, "Light a match under a steer and it's done enough for me." They want blue/bleu. For me, that is intolerable because there is no texture change from raw. But beyond that, I can eat it, and prefer either medium rare or medium.

I don't even eat port well done anymore, but prefer medium well. Juiciness and a nice, buttery bite, whether beef or pork (or lamb, for that matter) are tops on my list.

 

[Porthos]