Humor Section!

[Porthos]

 

[GTP]

oops, found an error here lol

View attachment 9394

"Don't be that person that lets gives out your password..."
Grammatical error methinks...

 

[Altster]

A farmer has 200 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell.

The other farmer says, “Yeah, I’ve got this great rooster, named Randy. He’ll service every chicken you got, no problem.”

Well, Randy the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he’d be worth it. So, he buys Randy.

The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard first giving the rooster a pep talk, “Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You’ve got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I’ll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun,” the farmer said, with a chuckle.

Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house, and Randy took off like a shot. -WHAM!- Randy nails every hen in the hen house – three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked.

After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Randy is in there.

Later, the farmer sees Randy after a flock of geese, down by the lake. Once again – WHAM! He gets all the geese!

By sunset he sees Randy out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants.

The farmer is distraught – worried that his expensive rooster won’t even last 24 hours.

Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day, to find Randy dead as a doorknob – stone cold in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful – and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, “Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you’ve done to yourself.”

Randy opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, “Shhh, they’re getting closer “

 

[Altster]

"Don't be that person that lets gives out your password..."

You know I also read that carefully and STILL didn't see that! Must be because it is 04:36 in the morning perhaps?

LOL

 

[Moltuae]

The elderly parents’ guide to computers
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/...rly-parents-guide-to-computers-20180607173948

Other devices

Your computer is not somehow connected to all other electrical devices you own. It is perfectly safe to use the computer and have the TV on. There will still be enough electricity. It will also NOT interfere with your radio, turn the cooker on or agitate the cat.

Email

An ‘email account’ just means ‘your email’. It is not your bank account. You can tell this because your bank is called ‘the Natwest’ and not ‘Yahoo’, and Yahoo is not a bank. It’s that fucking simple.

Basic computing

There are really only three things you need to know about computers:

1. You can watch old films on YouTube and write to people using the aforementioned ’email’ without buying a stamp. Let’s face it, this is all you will be using it for.

2. You cannot ‘break’ computers by using them normally. This only happens if you do something phenomenally stupid like putting it in the dishwasher. Which you will.

3. Computers are not evil and do not watch you and report your activities to the government.

Staying safe online

Be sure to do the classic ‘older computer user’ thing of being utterly paranoid about giving your details to reputable companies like John Lewis, then completely forget about it when sent a clearly bogus email such as:

“FREE GARDEN CENTER PRODUCTS!!! Yes, you is lucky 1,000th persons chosen for FREE GRADEN CENTER PRODUCTS!!! Just send bank account details to Vassily@Garden.Co.Ru. HURRY HURRY! Gnomes soon run out!!!”

 

[callthatgirl]

Review for my dentist....decided to switch plans

 

[Markverhyden]

 

[River Valley Computer]

Have we reached an all new low in intelligence???

 

[Altster]

@Kraken

 

[Markverhyden]

Spell checkers are wonderful. This is on a boiler plate form I saw. Wonder how many years it's been there.

 

[Altster]

Spell checkers are wonderful. This is on a boiler plate form I saw. Wonder how many years it's been there.

..and just how many bloody noses?

 

[JoeTech]

 

[Markverhyden]

Me thinks I see a business development opportunity here.....

 

[Mr. Ingram's Computer Repair & Shoppe]

 

[Porthos]

What is in the water in Aussie land.
http://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/20...-body-modification-tattoos-eyeballs-blue.html

 

[Mr. Ingram's Computer Repair & Shoppe]

What is in the water in Aussie land.
-snip-

You may want to wrap that in a spoiler.... Not exactly safe for work...

 

[Porthos]

You may want to wrap that in a spoiler.... Not exactly safe for work...

She is not naked. But she can scare the crud out of someone.

 

[Markverhyden]

What is in the water in Aussie land.
http://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/20...-body-modification-tattoos-eyeballs-blue.html

“I also have a lot of positivity surrounding my image. People are often fascinated rather than discriminatory towards me.”

I'm all for each to their own. I probably won't be around but I'd love to hear what she thinks after 30-40 years time, gravity included.

 

[NETWizz]

I'm all for each to their own. I probably won't be around but I'd love to hear what she thinks after 30-40 years time, gravity included.

My biggest concern is her eyes. I can guarantee no legitamate eye doctor did that for her. She is absolutely crazy!

 

[Porthos]

My biggest concern is her eyes. I can guarantee no legitamate eye doctor did that for her. She is absolutely crazy!

Shes just getting ready for the next Dune remake, lol