Humor Section!

[GTP]

Two blokes decide to go duck hunting. Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still haven't bagged any.
One hunter looks at the other and says "I just don't understand it - why aren't we getting any ducks?"
His friend says "I keep telling you, I just don't think we're throwing the dog high enough."

..........................................................................................................................................................................

One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared.
"I'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said.
The man thought for a moment, then said, "I want a spectacular job. A job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try."
"Poof!" said the genie. "You're a housewife."

 

[NETWizz]

 

[Mr. Ingram's Computer Repair & Shoppe]

 

[Markverhyden]

View attachment 9304

 

[Markverhyden]

W10 troubleshooting wizard is just awesome.....

 

[TechLady]

View attachment 9304

Not humor...

 

[Mr. Ingram's Computer Repair & Shoppe]

 

[Mr. Ingram's Computer Repair & Shoppe]

 

[Markverhyden]

"Lexophile" describes those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "To write with a broken pencil is pointless." An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile.


This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.


No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

 

[GTP]

 

[GTP]

 

[GTP]

 

[River Valley Computer]

"Lexophile" describes those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "To write with a broken pencil is pointless." An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile.


This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.


No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

My wife had a flat tire - she should have asparagus.

 

[Porthos]

View attachment 9319

Wondered ehat ever happend to one of my ex's. Now I know.

 

[Altster]

W10 troubleshooting wizard is just awesome.....

What a "quality" Operating System!

 

[coffee]

What a "quality" Operating System!

I noticed that there is software installed by default that you cannot uninstall. I forget what it was but its game related. lol - Windows PRO and it has game software you cannot install. Like I really need to run games if Im buying windows PRO!

 

[Markverhyden]

I noticed that there is software installed by default that you cannot uninstall. I forget what it was but its game related. lol - Windows PRO and it has game software you cannot install. Like I really need to run games if Im buying windows PRO!

LOL!!! That's a kiosk running W10 IoT I was working on. I'll have to look into that next time I'm working on one.

 

[TechLady]

 

[TechLady]

 

[JoeTech]

At least I have accomplished this.