Client needs help disappearing

[cyde_ePhex]

Hello all. I have a client who is in need of my services. I'll try and make this brief but to the point.

Married for 17 years...they split up about 10 years ago for a bit
He joins a dating site...they get back together soon after that

Present day..having marital problems and wife "Googles" his name...voila! His name shows up along with dating site.
He doesn't remember username/password. It seems that the same day he created the account is also the last day he was signed in. He contacted Google and they referred him to the dating site.
Also site seems to be inactive:
1027 users
0 online
0 new members

I told the guy that there are no guarantees I could actually do anything, but I would see what I could find out, but also stressed that I would require compensation for my time nonetheless. This guy sounded really down by all this...anyone have any suggestions on where to start?
Anyone have a job like this before?

Checking his computer for username and password is not an option. He had the drive replaced 3 years ago and he never reclaimed the old drive.

Thanks

 

[rjframe]

Check the WHOIS database for the site and contact somebody. That's probably all you can do (legally at least).

 

[Velvis]

I'm not sure what your asking or trying to do...

 

[nlinecomputers]

Best solution would be to tell the neurotic woman to get a clue. He had a life when he was single. Deal with it.

The website doesn't have "I lost my password" function?

 

[AlaDes]

The only option I really see you having is to have him bring in his wife and let you explain to her how search engines work and how they can have material linger on for years even though the website may no longer exist.

 

[mraikes]

Isn't it odd that his name would be publicly available to search engines from a site like that?

I would have thought a dating site would require some kind of membership/sign-up/login before revealing personal info like the names of it's members.

 

[NOOB_TECH]

Hello all. I have a client who is in need of my services. I'll try and make this brief but to the point.

Married for 17 years...they split up about 10 years ago for a bit
He joins a dating site...they get back together soon after that

Present day..having marital problems and wife "Googles" his name...voila! His name shows up along with dating site.
He doesn't remember username/password. It seems that the same day he created the account is also the last day he was signed in. He contacted Google and they referred him to the dating site.
Also site seems to be inactive:
1027 users
0 online
0 new members

I told the guy that there are no guarantees I could actually do anything, but I would see what I could find out, but also stressed that I would require compensation for my time nonetheless. This guy sounded really down by all this...anyone have any suggestions on where to start?
Anyone have a job like this before?

Checking his computer for username and password is not an option. He had the drive replaced 3 years ago and he never reclaimed the old drive.

Thanks

Honest is the best policy, in my opinion. He should tell this wife. Ex ect. What he did while they were apart. Who knows maybe she did stuff that he doesn’t know about.
If you want to go down this route you can check this article:

http://howto.wired.com/wiki/Un-Google_Yourself


From the Website:

Adding Robots.txt to your web hostGoogle and other search engines will be stopped cold in their tracks if they see a dreaded little text file on a web server. The text file is named 'robots.txt' and it needs to contain the following text:

User-agent: *
Disallow: /


You can create the text file in any plain text editor. If you want to host the embarrassing websites, but don't want Google (or any other search engine) to see it, add the file to your web host in its top-level folder.

Slycer on Digg had this little tidbit of follow-up: If you remove something from the web, you might want to tip-off Google to erase it from their cache. Submit a removal request from Google's Webmaster tools pages.


Good Luck

 

[mraikes]

....snipped.....

From the Website:

Adding Robots.txt to your web hostGoogle and other search engines will be stopped cold in their tracks if they see a dreaded little text file on a web server. The text file is named 'robots.txt' and it needs to contain the following text:

User-agent: *
Disallow: /

You can create the text file in any plain text editor. If you want to host the embarrassing websites, but don't want Google (or any other search engine) to see it, add the file to your web host in its top-level folder.

...snipped...
Good Luck

You left out the part about how he's supposed to upload a robots.txt file to a website that isn't his.

 

[ComputerRepairTech]

Check the WHOIS database for the site and contact somebody. That's probably all you can do (legally at least).

Thats my only suggestion as well....well its possible but unlikely that the site is amateur enough to use user names in the paths or some where in the code. Snoop around some if you get the username maybe he will be able to guess the password.

 

[cyde_ePhex]

Thanks everyone for the suggestions.

@mraikes- Yea, pretty shady of the site to do that (list his name), but not only that, the first search result shows up as Singles Profile of Ron McDonald, 67 from Cheezville 12345!

@nlinecomputers- This happened while they were still married although a minor separation (couple of weeks).
The site has a lost password option...but he doesn't remember the email address he used to sign up with (in 2006)


Basically, the guy just wants the stuff to go away. From what I can tell, this is the only instance where his name shows up and I'm guessing the only way to clear that up is to get a hold of whoever owns that domain and handle it with them.

I found the owner through WHOIS, but I haven't contacted them....that's his job to do. I just get the info.



By the way, how would I bill for this? As a Consultation? Anyway, thanks again!

 

[YeOldeStonecat]

I would stay out of this.

It's personal, it could get heated...what if you miss something? It's not your area of expertise...you're bound to miss something.

To do it thoroughly could take an incredible amount of time and effort.

Yup, I'd say "Sorry, can't help you!" Got has to man up....they separated, whatever happened during then...happened during then. He probably dipped his wick in a few other wells, and she probably let a few guys dip their wicks into her well...but up until they got back together..anything was game.

 

[ComputerRepairTech]

I found the owner through WHOIS, but I haven't contacted them....that's his job to do. I just get the info.



By the way, how would I bill for this? As a Consultation? Anyway, thanks again!

If you're expecting to be paid for this you should make the efforts to contact the guy. If some guy sends me an email that I dont immediately understand to my domain whois? oh man that email is going to be ignored quick. It needs to be written out with good detail and explaining the problem within the first line something like "A mutual customer has asked me to help him remove his dating profile from domain.ext" blah blah. Keep in mind these email addresses can get swarmed with spam.

 

[nlinecomputers]

I would stay out of this.

It's personal, it could get heated...what if you miss something? It's not your area of expertise...you're bound to miss something.

To do it thoroughly could take an incredible amount of time and effort.

Yup, I'd say "Sorry, can't help you!" Got has to man up....they separated, whatever happened during then...happened during then. He probably dipped his wick in a few other wells, and she probably let a few guys dip their wicks into her well...but up until they got back together..anything was game.

This^^^^ x 1 million.

Get his divorce lawyer to handle it. It's more a legal issue then a computer one. Crap like this is why I only do Business clients anymore.

 

[anonymous Mac Tech]

I would stay out of this.

It's personal, it could get heated...what if you miss something? It's not your area of expertise...you're bound to miss something.

To do it thoroughly could take an incredible amount of time and effort.

Yup, I'd say "Sorry, can't help you!" Got has to man up....they separated, whatever happened during then...happened during then. He probably dipped his wick in a few other wells, and she probably let a few guys dip their wicks into her well...but up until they got back together..anything was game.

I wholly agree. Tell them you deal with computers and they need marriage counseling or a divorce attorney for each of them. They obviously need counseling or she has neurotic trust issues. I doubt making his name disappear from a website is going to come close to solving the issues he, she, or both have.

 

[cyde_ePhex]

If you're expecting to be paid for this you should make the efforts to contact the guy. If some guy sends me an email that I dont immediately understand to my domain whois? oh man that email is going to be ignored quick. It needs to be written out with good detail and explaining the problem within the first line something like "A mutual customer has asked me to help him remove his dating profile from domain.ext" blah blah. Keep in mind these email addresses can get swarmed with spam.

I immediately thought this when I got the original email from this guy. I actually ignored the email for about 2 weeks, then he emails again asking if I could help. So I actually called the guy and first off, he's older I'm guessing 50-60ish, knows nothing about computers and he just basically wants to show his wife what he told her was the truth and he has nothing to hide....blah blah blah.

So here is the draft email I will be sending if I decide to help:

" I have very strict regulations on what I can/will do and what I cannot/will not do. Please remember that I also do not guarantee any results in which you find favorable. In fact, given the amount of time that has gone by since this account was created, I am not sure I can provide any results at all. Therefore, I must again state that during the time that I am devoting to helping you, I will be unable to provide service to anyone else. This means that if I agree to find out what information I can for you, I require that I be compensated for my time and my fee in non-negotiable and non-refundable. My fee is to be in the amount of $XXX dollars, which I am requiring a down payment of 50% for the amount of $XXX before I get started. I would send you an Invoice in the amount of $XXX, but you will be able to pay $XXX, through PayPal using your credit card. Once your payment has been received, I will begin to find out whatever information I can to help you.

Please understand as I want to make this perfectly clear:

I will only obtain information regarding the situation you explained to me during our phone conversation...contact information only.
If and only if I can find a person of contact or department responsible for customer service issues regarding this website. I will forward the information to you.
*I will not contact anyone at this company on your behalf. You are the account holder, therefore you will be responsible for contacting them.

I will not use any means that may be described, construed or assumed as being illegal in obtaining any information. I will try and obtain information that is classified as public record. Meaning that any information I obtain is easily obtained by anyone on the internet.

If you fully agree to these terms sign below and note that even though you are typing in your signature. This can and would be viewed as a legally binding signature and would be treated the same as if it were hand signed.

Again to clearly state: I will only find contact information for you to contact the site owner(s) regarding your account.

___________________________________________

 

[ComputerRepairTech]

This is my face right now:

I can not figure out if you are being serious or if you are joking. If all you are going to do is provide the contact info from the WHOIS information on the domain then I would just provide that information to them in an email at no charge..... XXX Dollars? 50% down payment? Sounds like a private investigators fees.

 

[cyde_ePhex]

@ComputerRepairTech- The $XXX is not truly a 3 digit figure, just an example.
Anyway, regardless of the dollar amount, why can I not ask for partial payment upfront? I don't know this guy and he's about 2 hours from me. He also tried another company about 5 weeks ago with no luck. Not even whois info. And don't we always "preach" about our time being valuable so charge accordingly? Why should this case be any different? At least I'm not trying to seem like I just want to take the guys money and run.


Sorry if you can't tell whether I was joking or not as this is the first time I have encountered this and I didn't know what I should do (as far as helping him or turning him away). I just thought that if I were to handle this I would try and cover my butt as much as possible even if it were just to give him whois domain info.

 

[anonymous Mac Tech]

This is my face right now:

I can not figure out if you are being serious or if you are joking. If all you are going to do is provide the contact info from the WHOIS information on the domain then I would just provide that information to them in an email at no charge..... XXX Dollars? 50% down payment? Sounds like a private investigators fees.

If you're willing to work for free, why don't you offer to take that client off of the OPs hands. Everybody should be happy then, right?

 

[ComputerRepairTech]

If you're willing to work for free, why don't you offer to take that client off of the OPs hands. Everybody should be happy then, right?

Ok send him my way, I will gladly devote the 5 seconds to do a domain whois and pass along the information at no charge.