office 365 sales sheet

[colonydata]

I'm working on a 1 page sales sheet for office 365. At this point it is more or less a shameless copy of another o365 sales sheet I found online. But I'm working on retooling it into my own.

I've taken a first pass at the language. I'm about to go back and try to simplify some of the language. I'm also pushing 3 main points

Convenience, Security, Cost.

any feedback would be appreciated.

https://skydrive.live.com/redir?page=view&resid=C5EF8C6D49CF9E6C!23915&authkey=!ANeluRfX2QQsKYo

 

[PCSupportGlasgow]

i personally don't like it.

sort of reminds me of those ads you used to see back in the 2000s. no call to action in it and no attention grabber.

Personally i would sit down decide

what you want to say in the ad?
who your targeting?
what goal of ad to be?

then from there you can start designing it but remember you got a mere second or two to grab them and read more

 

[callthatgirl]

You look like you have the basic information, I would push for the exchange more and get a designer to make the boxes look alive a bit.

I'm doing the same thing--making a page for Office 365, but from my experience, no one really wants the full Office 365, they want exchange and "maybe" sky drive. Most have Dropbox and are fine with it.

So I created this page (so not done yet)...my designer and I are playing around and I created a video to showcase what exchange does.

http://callthatgirl.biz/microsoft-exchange-online/

 

[Coastalbendcomputers]

I opened it gave it 5 seconds then closed it and here is what I gathered.

Its something from colony data that has to do with the cloud and had a picture of a computer.

The most valuable real estate on the page is the top left where you have your logo. You may want to put your contact into in the middle.

Start with the goods that gets attention they want to know more give them a bit then your info then you can put more details below your info then your info again at the bottom. Also people naturally want to interpret as much as possible from graphics not copy. Think about how often you will read everything on a info-graphic compared to paragraph of copy followed by more paragraphs of copy. The yellow highlighting didn't really draw me to the info it's a bright color but I think it's something I have seen so much doing project or the like that my eyes have become used to that look.