Oddest call you've ever had
- Thread starter Martyn
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JustInspired
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- Kent, United Kingdom
dang stro thats a helluva compilation of crazy stuff lol
Yeah. Don't know if I am jealous or glad!
Last one I had was one who went slightly off the rails because I'd changed his home page from some toolbar/hijacker thing to Google.
Started having a rant about Google. Said he didn't want anything to do with them as they spy on people. Won't use their browser, maps, search engine etc etc. Some people you assess quickly and decide it isn't worth arguing over so just do what makes them happy and move on.
Krynn72
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- Connecticut
This is the best thing I've ever read.
ComputerRepairTech
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- 804
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- Columbia, SC
Heres one from today..well not a call but email:
1st email: One of my computers was getting slow to boot so I tried eFix. For more than 24 hours it has been saying that it will have my computer operational in about an hout.. It has been saying for over 24 hours and counting and that it is downloading something or other flashing alternatelywith the statement Operation in progress please wait. What went wrong? How do I get out of this mess? I'm thoroughly desgusted with eFix!
2nd email: My computer Your sustem destroyed about 2 GB of files and programs. The programs I can reload but most of the data is gone.
All I can say is GO HAVE SEX WITH YOURSELF IN THE CRUDEST MANNER AS DEFINED BY THAT PROSCRIBED FOUR LETTER WORD
AND, I CURSE YOU AND ALL YOUR KIND ALL WAY BACK BEYOND JERRIBOAM AND INTO THE REMOTEST OF ANTE DILUVIAN ANTI
QUITY. MARK TWAIN SAID "CUSSING BRINGS RELIEF WHEN PRAYER FAILS" : MY OWN ADDITION TO THAT IS THAT COMPOUNDING
MAGNIFIES THE EFFECT. AS A FORMER PETTY OFFICER FIRST CLASS IN THE NAVY, I HAVE A VERY GENEROUS VOCABULARY IN
PROFANITH AND YOU MAY BE SURE THAT I HAVE DONE A LOT OF COMPOUNDING!
-
Note: I don't use eFix or Reimage or any of that garbage he clearly has the wrong company.
1st email: One of my computers was getting slow to boot so I tried eFix. For more than 24 hours it has been saying that it will have my computer operational in about an hout.. It has been saying for over 24 hours and counting and that it is downloading something or other flashing alternatelywith the statement Operation in progress please wait. What went wrong? How do I get out of this mess? I'm thoroughly desgusted with eFix!
2nd email: My computer Your sustem destroyed about 2 GB of files and programs. The programs I can reload but most of the data is gone.
All I can say is GO HAVE SEX WITH YOURSELF IN THE CRUDEST MANNER AS DEFINED BY THAT PROSCRIBED FOUR LETTER WORD
AND, I CURSE YOU AND ALL YOUR KIND ALL WAY BACK BEYOND JERRIBOAM AND INTO THE REMOTEST OF ANTE DILUVIAN ANTI
QUITY. MARK TWAIN SAID "CUSSING BRINGS RELIEF WHEN PRAYER FAILS" : MY OWN ADDITION TO THAT IS THAT COMPOUNDING
MAGNIFIES THE EFFECT. AS A FORMER PETTY OFFICER FIRST CLASS IN THE NAVY, I HAVE A VERY GENEROUS VOCABULARY IN
PROFANITH AND YOU MAY BE SURE THAT I HAVE DONE A LOT OF COMPOUNDING!
-
Note: I don't use eFix or Reimage or any of that garbage he clearly has the wrong company.
PC-MOT
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- Northampton, UK
MotzTech
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While not nearly as interesting as some I these, this is by far my favorite. First a little background info
I worked for another company at the time as the tech ops manager. Pretty much answered the phone, dispatched techs, helpdesk, etc.
Our name was close to one of those make payments now get a computer later deals that you see on TV. We got calls for them once and while so I would keep their customer service number on hand so I would give people the correct number. Almost every time they thanked me for the info and moved on, except once....
Lady calls up and she is VERY upset (Can't blame her, those things are total scams). Saying that we are taking money from her bank account and she has not received her computer. I tried explaining to her that we don't sell computers in the fashion and that she is probably looking for this other company. I started to give her the number and she freaked out and wanted to talk to my manager. The only other person above me was the owner, and I sure was not going to pass this one onto him! She gets upset and says she will call back and talk to someone who knows what they are doing. Then she hangs up and I figure that's the end of it.
A few minutes later the phone rings again and guess who it was. Upon hearing me answer the phone she exclaims something and hangs up. This continues for the rest of the day. Every time I'm the one answering and every time she gets mad and hangs up. I don't recall how long it lasted exactly but eventually she stopped calling.
Sometimes I still wonder what happened to that angry lady.
I worked for another company at the time as the tech ops manager. Pretty much answered the phone, dispatched techs, helpdesk, etc.
Our name was close to one of those make payments now get a computer later deals that you see on TV. We got calls for them once and while so I would keep their customer service number on hand so I would give people the correct number. Almost every time they thanked me for the info and moved on, except once....
Lady calls up and she is VERY upset (Can't blame her, those things are total scams). Saying that we are taking money from her bank account and she has not received her computer. I tried explaining to her that we don't sell computers in the fashion and that she is probably looking for this other company. I started to give her the number and she freaked out and wanted to talk to my manager. The only other person above me was the owner, and I sure was not going to pass this one onto him! She gets upset and says she will call back and talk to someone who knows what they are doing. Then she hangs up and I figure that's the end of it.
A few minutes later the phone rings again and guess who it was. Upon hearing me answer the phone she exclaims something and hangs up. This continues for the rest of the day. Every time I'm the one answering and every time she gets mad and hangs up. I don't recall how long it lasted exactly but eventually she stopped calling.
Sometimes I still wonder what happened to that angry lady.
Digital Sage
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- Merimbula, NSW, Australia
I got nothing on you lot. But there was this one guy who called up, wanted me to go over and check out his mac. He was convinced that someone had hacked into it and was monitoring him. I pried into why and he said it was because sometimes the mouse moves in its own, and sometimes individual characters are removed from his bookmarks. He then went on and on about how this has happened before, and how he needed help changing his email password. Totally paranoid.
discipulus
Active Member
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- 36
- Location
- Rockford, IL
I took a call from a lady one time who's husband had recently purchased a new computer from us. He wanted to know how to surf the internet. He didn't want to research or read anything specific, he just wanted to browse the internet.
Had a call today from a customer that was irately upset that we uninstalled his av and didn't reinstall it, even though it was a commercial version and we didn't have his product key. When I offered to install it he got upset because we had his computer for "almost two weeks" (6 business days...) and wanted a guaranteed turn around time on the system. When I said we would need his account credentials he was lost.
Had a call today from a customer that was irately upset that we uninstalled his av and didn't reinstall it, even though it was a commercial version and we didn't have his product key. When I offered to install it he got upset because we had his computer for "almost two weeks" (6 business days...) and wanted a guaranteed turn around time on the system. When I said we would need his account credentials he was lost.
HFultzjr
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- 907
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- Central PA, USA
My favorites are these:
Can't get my e-mail!
What's your screen name and password?
Huh!
What's your screen name and password?
KittyKat29@ Hotmail.com (this is not valid))
Are they capital K's or is it KittyCat?
I don't remember!
Your password?
Don't need one!
Yes you do.
Never got one. All I do is click the button.
By this time, I'm banging my head off the wall.
This is more than I can do over the phone, I'll need to schedule an appointment. My rates are.................
My computer is running slow, and *^% has a 1 TB hard drive on sale, can you put it in for me?
Sure, but you probably have other issues also.
What do you mean?
A bigger hard drive does not make a computer faster in general.
Isn't it like putting a bigger engine in your car?
Bang bang head!
I bought a new computer and need all my "stuff" transferred to it. How much?
What did you have and what did you buy?
Had an old Win XP, bought a new (*&^% special with Win 8.
Do you have the installation disks for your programs.
Why? It's already on my old one, can't you just "copy" them?
Once again banging head!
My computer won't start!
Laptop with dead battery and not plugged in.
And on and on and on!
Can't get my e-mail!
What's your screen name and password?
Huh!
What's your screen name and password?
KittyKat29@ Hotmail.com (this is not valid))
Are they capital K's or is it KittyCat?
I don't remember!
Your password?
Don't need one!
Yes you do.
Never got one. All I do is click the button.
By this time, I'm banging my head off the wall.
This is more than I can do over the phone, I'll need to schedule an appointment. My rates are.................
My computer is running slow, and *^% has a 1 TB hard drive on sale, can you put it in for me?
Sure, but you probably have other issues also.
What do you mean?
A bigger hard drive does not make a computer faster in general.
Isn't it like putting a bigger engine in your car?
Bang bang head!
I bought a new computer and need all my "stuff" transferred to it. How much?
What did you have and what did you buy?
Had an old Win XP, bought a new (*&^% special with Win 8.
Do you have the installation disks for your programs.
Why? It's already on my old one, can't you just "copy" them?
Once again banging head!
My computer won't start!
Laptop with dead battery and not plugged in.
And on and on and on!
16k_zx81
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- 54
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- South Australia
I replaced a cracked screen on a laptop.
About 6 months later, the customer rings me.
"My laptop screen is cracked again"
- oh sorry to hear that. Would you like to book it in for repair?
"Yes. I assume thats covered under warranty?"
- You have cracked the laptop screen we replaced for you, and wonder if its covered under warranty?
"Yes"
- umm... well I would have thought that would be more an insurance matter than a warranty issue?
"So you won't repair it for free"
- Well, not if you broke it, no, as its not an issue with the original repair. You appear to have broken it yourself.
(in a huff) "Oh well I will go elsewhere then"
About 6 months later, the customer rings me.
"My laptop screen is cracked again"
- oh sorry to hear that. Would you like to book it in for repair?
"Yes. I assume thats covered under warranty?"
- You have cracked the laptop screen we replaced for you, and wonder if its covered under warranty?
"Yes"
- umm... well I would have thought that would be more an insurance matter than a warranty issue?
"So you won't repair it for free"
- Well, not if you broke it, no, as its not an issue with the original repair. You appear to have broken it yourself.
(in a huff) "Oh well I will go elsewhere then"
codegreen
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- New Brunswick, Canada
For free!
Paul Rodgers
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- 57
Well, there was more to the conversation. She was a bitter old lady that had been taken, or so she claimed, by another company. Based on her attitude from the start and the delivery of her blunt question, I showed her the door.Actually he charged her.
ohio_grad_06
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- Reaction score
- 581
Once had an elderly lady come in for a cleanup, tuned it up for it running right, no calls for 6 months she seemed happy. I get a call from her (she had been in dual up previously), she tried to get the cable company to set up high speed internet and they told her she would need an Ethernet card (she said 3 techs had told her this). I told her most modern computers had one built in (note that 6 months before we would used her Ethernet card to get network access).
I explained to get I didn't know how Good the techs were that were telling her those things (kind of did, knew a guy who was an installer for said company and he's not a pc tech). Lady for belligerent didn't want to pay anything. I even offered to install for price of just parts. She went on about being a member of the women's club and how she was going to smear my name over town. At this point I got irritated and told her essentially I had not touched her computer for 6 months therefore I had no way of knowing what had had happened to it in that time. I proceeded to tell her I felt I was being reasonable and that she was being unreasonable, that I was not going to fix it for free. Ands basically in regards to bad mouthing me, I knew a lot of people who knew how Good my work was so that 1 client probably wouldn't hurt much so to do whatever she needed to do.
I think she knew the other techs were wrong when I told her the built in card looked like a giant phone plug. She even told me she saw it, never did apologize though. Some people. Gotta love them.
I explained to get I didn't know how Good the techs were that were telling her those things (kind of did, knew a guy who was an installer for said company and he's not a pc tech). Lady for belligerent didn't want to pay anything. I even offered to install for price of just parts. She went on about being a member of the women's club and how she was going to smear my name over town. At this point I got irritated and told her essentially I had not touched her computer for 6 months therefore I had no way of knowing what had had happened to it in that time. I proceeded to tell her I felt I was being reasonable and that she was being unreasonable, that I was not going to fix it for free. Ands basically in regards to bad mouthing me, I knew a lot of people who knew how Good my work was so that 1 client probably wouldn't hurt much so to do whatever she needed to do.
I think she knew the other techs were wrong when I told her the built in card looked like a giant phone plug. She even told me she saw it, never did apologize though. Some people. Gotta love them.
Megacannon
New Member
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While I was working as a remote support technician, I had a customer contact me through the chat window saying that people were on his computer and I had to call him immediately. Now, we got this stuff all the time--people complaining that they're being hacked right now and such stuff. I hate calling customers unless it's absolutely necessary, and I figured this guy was just a bit crazy. So, I chose to forgo the call then connected to his computer where, to my surprise, other people were on his computer! Turned out to be another remote tech support company. I saw the chat window for them and couldn't resist poking a little bit of fun, so I simply typed in, "This is Stephen from iTOK. Goodbye." and then promptly ended their connection.
At this point in time I finally found it prudent to call the customer. When he answered the phone he was laughing his ass off. He thought my "This is Stephen from iTOK..." line was the funniest things he had ever seen. I ended up getting another support issue from him the following week and he let me know that he told all of his friends about it and they had a good laugh. He was definitely one of my favorite customers I ever had.
At this point in time I finally found it prudent to call the customer. When he answered the phone he was laughing his ass off. He thought my "This is Stephen from iTOK..." line was the funniest things he had ever seen. I ended up getting another support issue from him the following week and he let me know that he told all of his friends about it and they had a good laugh. He was definitely one of my favorite customers I ever had.
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Digital Sage
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- Merimbula, NSW, Australia
^ I don't get it. Why is that funny and why were other people remoting in?
Markverhyden
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- Raleigh, NC
Things like this are a reality, at least in the US. I have had customers tell me they have had random calls like that.
Megacannon
New Member
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Indeed, they are real. My step-father even got a call from one. Thankfully, he didn't trust them and just hanged up the phone.
An odd thing about the customer I mentioned is that I think it was actually a legitimate remote support company on his computer. He had a problem with his computer he wanted fixed but, for some reason I don't remember, he didn't call us first and contacted the other company. He wanted to stop them when they started installing something on his computer.
I'm sorry you don't find it humorous enough. Here are some mildly more interesting situations.
I once had a hick customer from California (oddly, not the Southern US) who started hitting on me. A male, not a female. My coworkers were laughing the whole time.
Once, one of my coworkers remoted into someone's computer (after they had submitted a support ticket of course) while they were looking at gay porn. He was actively talking to the guy through the chat window a few minutes earlier, so it's not like the customer wasn't expecting us. Nonetheless, the guy freaked out and immediately closed the connection. My coworker waited a few minutes before trying again ("maybe he's finished?") to the same result.
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TheBiff
Member
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- 0
- Location
- Bay Area, CA
Not a call but a classic for me. Customer comes in with an old Gateway computer.
Customer: This is for a client of mine and he would like to have Windows reinstalled.
*I turn on the machine and see that it is Windows ME.
Me: Does he want Windows ME reinstalled? If so that will be a problem.
Customer: Yes he wants ME back on there.
Me: The problem is there is no support for Windows ME any more. If the machine can handle it how about Windows XP?
Customer: That is unacceptable, my client wants Windows ME reinstalled. He does not want XP.
Me: Well without support that means there are no updates nor drivers (in this case), and features like sound or internet might be missing because of it.
Customer: That is unacceptable! He bought the machine and he has the right to have it reloaded with the software that came with it!
Me: I agree, however with no support my hands are tied.
*I went to Gateway's site to see if there still was drivers for it, and of course there wasnt.
Me: Maybe you can give me the clients number and I can talk to him directly.
Customer: That is no possible. My client has passed away.
Me: ...
Customer: In his will he gave his computer to me.
Me: So you are the client?
Customer: Yes.
Needless to say he left without having Windows reloaded, however he did come back at a later time and date.
Customer: I need this system (not the Gateway) back ASAP.
*Before I can even say anything.
Customer: I have hi resolution scans of the Mona Lisa on the computer and the Vatican is after to me.
Unrelated to him but still fantastic.
Customer: You did a data transfer for me but some of my documents are missing.
Me: Ok well we will get to squared away. What was the name of the file(s) that are missing?
Customer: I dont know.
Me: Ok where were the files located?
Customer: I dont know.
Me: What program were they made with?
Customer: I dont know.
Me: What did the files contain?
Customer: I dont know.
Me: If you dont know the name, location, type, or the contents, how do you know they are missing?
Customer: I dont like being talked down to.
Customer: This is for a client of mine and he would like to have Windows reinstalled.
*I turn on the machine and see that it is Windows ME.
Me: Does he want Windows ME reinstalled? If so that will be a problem.
Customer: Yes he wants ME back on there.
Me: The problem is there is no support for Windows ME any more. If the machine can handle it how about Windows XP?
Customer: That is unacceptable, my client wants Windows ME reinstalled. He does not want XP.
Me: Well without support that means there are no updates nor drivers (in this case), and features like sound or internet might be missing because of it.
Customer: That is unacceptable! He bought the machine and he has the right to have it reloaded with the software that came with it!
Me: I agree, however with no support my hands are tied.
*I went to Gateway's site to see if there still was drivers for it, and of course there wasnt.
Me: Maybe you can give me the clients number and I can talk to him directly.
Customer: That is no possible. My client has passed away.
Me: ...
Customer: In his will he gave his computer to me.
Me: So you are the client?
Customer: Yes.
Needless to say he left without having Windows reloaded, however he did come back at a later time and date.
Customer: I need this system (not the Gateway) back ASAP.
*Before I can even say anything.
Customer: I have hi resolution scans of the Mona Lisa on the computer and the Vatican is after to me.
Unrelated to him but still fantastic.
Customer: You did a data transfer for me but some of my documents are missing.
Me: Ok well we will get to squared away. What was the name of the file(s) that are missing?
Customer: I dont know.
Me: Ok where were the files located?
Customer: I dont know.
Me: What program were they made with?
Customer: I dont know.
Me: What did the files contain?
Customer: I dont know.
Me: If you dont know the name, location, type, or the contents, how do you know they are missing?
Customer: I dont like being talked down to.
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