I feel like the Doctor to my Doctor client...

[thecomputerguy]

(Client is a repeat offender)

He calls me up and says his keyboard isn't working on his laptop I sold him.

I head out onsite and yep his keyboard isn't working. I notice plastic bezels also hanging off the laptop.

ME: "Did you drop it?"

HIM: "Me uhhh oh no."

ME: "Ok."

HIM: "Oh and also the USB ports don't work and the laptop doesn't charge."

I tear it apart and find liquid in between the keyboard and the palm rest.

ME: "Did you spill water on it? It looks like the keyboard is working but it's being shorted out, some keys work and some don't"

HIM: "No no I didn't spill anything on it."

In the back of my mind I'm thinking...

ME: "Ok, I told you to stop eating cheeseburgers, your cholesterol is through the roof, what's up with your diet?"

HIM: "I don't know I've been eating as healthy as I ever have I don't eat cheeseburgers anymore."

ME: "What about the candy, you know you cant have sugar why is your blood sugar so high?"

HIM: "I don't know the last time I had chocolate was 3 months ago!"


Sometimes even the Doctor lies to the Doctor

 

[nlinecomputers]

 

[gadgetfixup]

Our favorite is "we haven't used it" story. We used to have a 30 day warranty on used equipment, customers would call once in a while with an issue at like 60 days, and always say we haven't even used it. Of course browser history and install programs say otherwise. Who can argue with a customer?

So I said well lets just up the warranty to 90 days. Surely someone can't come back saying they purchased something and didn't use it for 3 months. Yeah right, we still have the same amount of story tellers calming they've been out of town, on vacation, busy or whatever and haven't used the item for over 3 months. One was over 6 months. He forgot he purchased it from us and just got around to using it. (facepalm)

Just part of being in business these days.

 

[NYJimbo]

ME: "Did you spill water on it? It looks like the keyboard is working but it's being shorted out, some keys work and some don't"

The key to this is not asking them IF the spilled something, tell them someone spilled something and here is the proof (photo or show them the actual spill). It will always be "not me" from them, just like when they get infected from downloading a fake flash program to watch porn. I don't ask them if they did it, I tell them "Someone using this computer downloaded a fake flash program on June 15th and installed it on the computer and that's what started all of this mess".

Its like when a cop stops a person and they are sure this is a repeat offender, they don't ask "Were you ever arrested before", they ask "When was the last time you were arrested". You don't always get the truth, but wording it like that usually gets them to tell the truth because you didn't give them the immediate option of saying "no" or "not me".

 

[cypress]

I have 2 clients that are doctors. One a Neuro surgeon I do some work for here and there and the other is my MSP who does internal medicine. Cool guys and very good at what they do, but completely lost when it comes to computers. Feels good to know something that have no idea about lol.

 

[NYJimbo]

Our favorite is "we haven't used it" story.

Those really piss me off. That or the ones who say "It never really worked right since I got it back from you".
With those I'll say "Well, why didn't you bring it back or call me back then ?" and it's always "Oh, I was really busy" or something like that. Sure, busy for 60 days ? From that point on just about anything else they say is questionable to me.

 

[wavey]

Those really piss me off. That or the ones who say "It never really worked right since I got it back from you".
With those I'll say "Well, why didn't you bring it back or call me back then ?" and it's always "Oh, I was really busy" or something like that. Sure, busy for 60 days ? From that point on just about anything else they say is questionable to me.

Yes, it's sometimes hard to be polite to someone who is blatantly trying to rip you off.

 

[ohio_grad_06]

At that point it's like, well you didn't bring it in, tough luck.

 

[Krynn72]

At that point it's like, well you didn't bring it in, tough luck.

Pretty much. I usually try and sound like I'm real bummed out for them. Like, "Aw man, you shoulda brought it in right when you're having the problem, its out of warranty now and I can't fix it for free anymore! Aw man!"

 

[ohio_grad_06]

If they then say well you still can, then the other line is " sorry, if I do this for everyone else I have to be the same across the board or I have to make an exception for everybody "

 

[gikstar]

The key to this is not asking them IF the spilled something, tell them someone spilled something and here is the proof (photo or show them the actual spill). It will always be "not me" from them, just like when they get infected from downloading a fake flash program to watch porn. I don't ask them if they did it, I tell them "Someone using this computer downloaded a fake flash program on June 15th and installed it on the computer and that's what started all of this mess".

Its like when a cop stops a person and they are sure this is a repeat offender, they don't ask "Were you ever arrested before", they ask "When was the last time you were arrested". You don't always get the truth, but wording it like that usually gets them to tell the truth because you didn't give them the immediate option of saying "no" or "not me".

Right on about telling the person what you found and not asking 'did you'..... it leaves them an opening to not be truthful..

Anyone remember the TV show Dragnet (1951-59)? In just about every show Jack Web used the phrase Just the Facts, Ma'am, Just the Facts

I have a peeve with cops... they will tell the perp something and the ask "OK?", seems ridiculous to me, if you want to know if they understand what you said, then say "do you understand"? Using the word OK? sounds to me like you're asking permission... you're not asking permission, you're telling the person what needs to be done or explaining the law/rules.