Hahaha, I must be doing something wrong!
I know your being comedic

but for many it should be very possible to make 6 figures. Make sure your prices are right. Get the clients. Work on your business. Do the work.
Your prices have to be right for you, not the customer. To be viable I look at it like this - PPT (Price Per Ticket, Avg.) and daily sales totals. That is to say you need to be making X amount of money per day or X amount per ticket. Set your goals to match your desired end-of-year income. For me there is roughly 300 working days in the year taking out Sundays and holidays and whatnot. Want to make 100K a year? You have to make roughly $335 per day. If you work a 12 hour shift that amounts to almost $28/hr. Not big money. Now add in your approximated store and business costs to that figure and find out what you need to be doing to cover those costs. Oh, and don't forget taxes (Figure 30%). Obviously you find that you need to be making quite a bit more to make a take-home amount of $100K - but the numbers game above still works, as an example.
Get the clients - Advertising, website, word of mouth, business cards.. anything you can do to lure prospects (Without resorting to gorilla tactics, of course). I have found that many business owners fail because of 2 reasons that tie in with all of this. Number one is the business owner who sits and waits for clients to come to them. If your not busy, something is wrong. Your either helping customers or helping your business - either way your busy. Number two, and this was one of my hurdles, is to spend money to make money. This old saying is so true. I was paying crazy money to Google Adwords my first few years (~$10,000) but it payed off because I was getting clients. Now, because I spent that money I acquired great reviews. Google likes my website (because of the time and content put into it) and now I have payed $0 in the past 3 years and I am organically #1 in the search results for my area.
Work on your business - Spend time on your business. I work at home so I have the "luxury" of working 12-16 hour days if needed. Not just on customer stuff, but the business back end. Your not just an employee, your the owner; the business itself. Spend money on making your "store" look good and inviting. What needs to be improved or could be better? What is the customer going to take home about the "experience"? Is that experience going to WOW the customer so they tell their friends or not? How can you help yourself to make things go faster and more efficient? For me, I'm home-based. I bought a tri-level home specifically so that the bottom floor could be the business. It keeps everything separate from the living quarters and has no stairs which means I am wheelchair friendly and don't have to really worry about trips, slips and falls in the winters. I have a small sign outside, but when you come in... it looks just like a store. Slat-walls with product hooks (and products!) chairs for the customers, a large U-shaped desk, track lighting, metal art on the walls as a conversation piece. Believe me, when I get new customers in I regularly hear "Wow, this is cool! Nice place!" - This is what they take home. Some are thrown off by the regular looking house, but once inside, they know I'm serious and they came to the right place. Your story may be different but the same rules apply.
Do the work. Take care of your customers. I have a friend that I had to "let go" as a friend because he just couldn't get his stuff together in life, in general. He has tried his hand at being a handy man, an eShield authorized installer, and a lawn/landscaping service. He's lazy and he's sloppy. Sure, the first 6-12 months he works real hard at it, does fairly well, and then his business flops. Why? He spends
all the money he gets on himself. If the business needs anything, oh well. Also, he gains a false sense of security when he gets paid. He figures, "Hey, $10,000! Awesome. I'll just sit around and wait for my next paycheck." - and it never comes. It never comes because he took shortcuts, gains bad reviews and gets a poor reputation. If your going to do the work, do it right. If you do good work it will show not only to your customers but also in beneficial returns. A self-sustaining feedback loop, if you will.
Get into recurring income and offering services, if you can. I signed up with GFI about 18 months ago and it has been very profitable for a minimal amount of effort. I paid for the branding (spend money to make money, remember?) as well. I have a few managed business customers, but I have focused up to now on selling MAV (Managed Antivirus, Vipre). I sell it as an annual subscription and because the bulk of my customer base is home users with virus infections I don't even have to "sell" it, it sells itself. I had 210 MAV customers in the first year alone.. I figure that I am roughly making $48 per machine per year after paying GFI - That's over $10K right there, pure profit. If the trends stay as they are now I should have another 250-300 MAV users this year alone. Also, renewals are currently hovering right below 70% - not too bad. But you have to work for the renewals. Send the email 30 days out, Call 10 days out, USPS 7 days out if no contact. Do you buy a service or program to help you manage this(Quickbooks, PCRT, mHelpdesk, etc)? This takes time and money, but pays off in the end. You just have to do the work.
I hit 6 figures for the first time in my life last year. I'm on track to better last year's figures by 20%. Fingers crossed!
If things continue to go as they have been I will most likely look at getting a store-front and maybe even an employee (Gasp!). When and if I do this I will be looking at a significant income loss for at least 1-2 years I think. Spend money to make money. Don't be too ambitious or think that you are going to start making loads of money right away. It takes baby steps and years of work to build your business to the level you want and are comfortable with. If your not good with that, then stop now as you are likely setting yourself up for failure, perhaps even, a costly failure.