Oddest call you've ever had

[Martyn]

I picked up a laptop the other day from a client who I've visited before. A couple of days ago I decided to do a reload, he just surfs the net, and brought it back to the workshop to do it. The other problem was that some of the keys were broken so I ordered a new keyboard. I got the laptop reloaded and patched etc very quickly and put it aside waiting for the keyboard to arrive. Yesterday I got a desperate phone call asking for his laptop back as he couldn't charge his electronic cigarette I then thought this cigarette is always sticking out the right hand side whenever I'm there working on it. I returned the laptop and will fit the keyboard when it arrives.

 

[Kitten Kong]

Lol Martyn, you can tell your client, that Amazon sell http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00A48AH1K/ref=oh_details_o02_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I bought one, for us, It's used practically every day, for charging our phones, ipad, my leccy cig battery..

 

[ComputerRepairTech]

I once had a call where the customer insisted I was geek squad. I tried in several different ways to explain to the caller that I was not affiliated with geeksquad. The call ended with the customer saying hes going to come down in person and deal with me.

Edit: Er to further clarify customer was mad that his computer was still being worked on by geeksquad and he thought i was trying to steal it.

 

[Kitten Kong]

I once had a call where the customer insisted I was geek squad. I tried in several different ways to explain to the caller that I was not affiliated with geeksquad. The call ended with the customer saying hes going to come down in person and deal with me.

Edit: Er to further clarify customer was mad that his computer was still being worked on by geeksquad and he thought i was trying to steal it.

Wow.. To use one of Xanders quotes "Was he on crack?" lol.

How the heck did he think, you were geek squad to begin with. Did you collect it from him, or did he drop it off?

Are you anywhere nearby a GS store, are you colour schemes similar?

 

[ComputerRepairTech]

Wow.. To use one of Xanders quotes "Was he on crack?" lol.

How the heck did he think, you were geek squad to begin with. Did you collect it from him, or did he drop it off?

Are you anywhere nearby a GS store, are you colour schemes similar?

I have no idea, he kept repeating my phone number over and over as he was convinced my phone number belonged to geek squad. Like "IS YOUR NUMBER (insert my toll free number here) THEN YOU'RE GEEK SQUAD, HERE IS MY (he said it was like a case # or ticket # or something) NUMBER."

Edit: I only do online computer repair, i dont use orange on my site.

Edit2: thinking back perhaps he was dealing with a Josh that had a similar voice at geeksquad and maybe thats why he was so convinced? I have no idea it was very odd.

 

[Kitten Kong]

Wow, is all I can say there Josh. Looks like you avoided some serious trouble there my friend..

 

[Larry Sabo]

The call ended with the customer saying hes going to come down in person and deal with me.

You missed an opportunity to say, "Yeah, just try it a$$hole!" Then call the cops and suggest they send a car to GS, as you got a call from some lunatic threatening staff there.

PS - A few years ago, my son, who worked as a supervisor at a call centre, was dealing with an irate customer who threatened to come down to his work and deal with him, and asked what he'd be wearing and looked like. My son described his attire, appearance and where he's be located, and asked the customer what he would be wearing and looked like, because he'd be looking for him. My son is at least 6 ' 2" and weighed about 290 pounds at the time. Would loved to have seen the look on the customer's face, had he showed up.

 

[nlinecomputers]

I once had a call where the customer insisted I was geek squad. I tried in several different ways to explain to the caller that I was not affiliated with geeksquad. The call ended with the customer saying hes going to come down in person and deal with me.

Edit: Er to further clarify customer was mad that his computer was still being worked on by geeksquad and he thought i was trying to steal it.

I must of had this guys wife call me.

Several years ago I had a client answer my craigslist ad(after this I pulled the ad and never ran CL again.) She explained that she had trouble with Best Buy Geek Squad and wanted me to look at her PC.

I get to her home and she asks me to put on paper boot covers over my shoes so that I wouldn't track in dirt. Which I was insulted by as I am clean and have sense enough to wipe my feet on the door mat. They wouldn't fit anyway and she went ahead and let me in the house. She proceeds to go on a 10 minute rant about how Geek Squad had taken her computer and not returned it and how I was a thief(she kept calling ME geek squad on minute and realizing that I was not the next.) I finally get her calmed down and look at the PC which is totally infested with multiple toolbars and browser hijackers. I tell her that the time it would take to fix this requires me to take it back to my shop. She throws a screaming fit about that but agrees and as I start to unplug it she then says I can't take it unless I give her a receipt. "Because I don't trust geek squad and I am not going to let you take this back to Best Buy." At that point I realize for certain that I have a genuine nut job who doesn't have a firm grip on reality. And there can't be any good outcome for this. I tell her that I am sorry that I can't help her and leave. She follows me out the door calling me a thief AND demanding that I take her computer. She said both.

 

[Tekguy]

One of my regular customer's referred her daughter to me a few years ago & I can't even remember what the problems was with the computer, probably was running slow.

After I finished working on the computer she proceeds to tell me she has no money & will give me a massage for payment. That's when I told her I was late to my next appointment & left immediately.

 

[Krynn72]

After I finished working on the computer she proceeds to tell me she has no money & will give me a massage for payment.

Are you sure she realized you were in the computer business, not in some... other industry?

Oddest thing that's happened to us in awhile wasn't a call, but a customer in the store complaining about liquid in the screen of his laptop. He came in one day, we expected to just find a damaged lcd, but there was nothing at all wrong with it. He was convinced and kept just staring at it saying it will happen. Cue a long wait with nothing happening, and eventually he leaves. Two weeks later he comes back saying the same thing, asking us to drill some holes in the screen to drain the liquid. When we refuse he tells us he has another issue where sometimes people in videos "turn into shadows." He proceeds to put in some really weird, awkward karate video, saying eventually they turn into shadows. The six minute video ends with nobody turning into shadows and he leaves again.

I'm really hoping he takes the bus here and doesn't drive in that condition.

 

[ComputerRepairTech]

Are you sure she realized you were in the computer business, not in some... other industry?

Oddest thing that's happened to us in awhile wasn't a call, but a customer in the store complaining about liquid in the screen of his laptop. He came in one day, we expected to just find a damaged lcd, but there was nothing at all wrong with it. He was convinced and kept just staring at it saying it will happen. Cue a long wait with nothing happening, and eventually he leaves. Two weeks later he comes back saying the same thing, asking us to drill some holes in the screen to drain the liquid. When we refuse he tells us he has another issue where sometimes people in videos "turn into shadows." He proceeds to put in some really weird, awkward karate video, saying eventually they turn into shadows. The six minute video ends with nobody turning into shadows and he leaves again.

I'm really hoping he takes the bus here and doesn't drive in that condition.

This actually sounds oddly familiar some how.
Edit: the liquid part not the people turning into shadows lol

Edit2: Oh well couldnt find it...had something to do with computer screens and bright whites and some condition vision/neurological cant remember.

 

[lan101]

One of my regular customer's referred her daughter to me a few years ago & I can't even remember what the problems was with the computer, probably was running slow.

After I finished working on the computer she proceeds to tell me she has no money & will give me a massage for payment. That's when I told her I was late to my next appointment & left immediately.

lol that's funny. Did you call her mother to explain that you didn't get paid. I think I would have called to explain what happened (minus the massage part lol)

 

[Tekguy]

lol that's funny. Did you call her mother to explain that you didn't get paid. I think I would have called to explain what happened (minus the massage part lol)

No, I just tried to get that memory out of my head ASAP. If she was a swimsuit model I would've gladly accepted her "payment", but that wasn't the case.

 

[seedubya]

If she was a swimsuit model I would've gladly accepted her "payment", but that wasn't the case.

I'm sure if you were Calvin Klein underwear model she might've meant more than "massage ".

 

[Markverhyden]

Are you sure she realized you were in the computer business, not in some... other industry?

Oddest thing that's happened to us in awhile wasn't a call, but a customer in the store complaining about liquid in the screen of his laptop. He came in one day, we expected to just find a damaged lcd, but there was nothing at all wrong with it. He was convinced and kept just staring at it saying it will happen. Cue a long wait with nothing happening, and eventually he leaves. Two weeks later he comes back saying the same thing, asking us to drill some holes in the screen to drain the liquid. When we refuse he tells us he has another issue where sometimes people in videos "turn into shadows." He proceeds to put in some really weird, awkward karate video, saying eventually they turn into shadows. The six minute video ends with nobody turning into shadows and he leaves again.

I'm really hoping he takes the bus here and doesn't drive in that condition.

Well, the L in LCD does stand for Liquid.

 

[Krynn72]

Well, the L in LCD does stand for Liquid.

Which is why we assumed a cracked screen. Wouldn't be the first person to describe a broken screen that way. It was however, the first time anyones ever asked us to drill holes to let it out.

 

[Markverhyden]

Which is why we assumed a cracked screen. Wouldn't be the first person to describe a broken screen that way. It was however, the first time anyones ever asked us to drill holes to let it out.

LOL!!! You should have had some fun with them. Whip out a drill with a 1.5" spade bit - "you need a big hole so it drains completely".

 

[knc]

We sold VoIP business systems. Client called (from their business lines) said "My phone is not working", I said "Whats not working?" she said "it just isn't working", I said "well then how are you calling me?"

 

[Paul Rodgers]

We sold VoIP business systems. Client called (from their business lines) said "My phone is not working", I said "Whats not working?" she said "it just isn't working", I said "well then how are you calling me?"

Oh how I love "not working" as a problem description.

 

[stro]

My Weird ones:

Lots of people lately wanting to change things up because they think the CIA is spying on them.

Woman who thought her husband was cheating on her, after locating several close-up pictures, she identified the "unit" as belonging to her 19 year old son.

Guy comes back after a year for a box full of junk laptops that I thought I had thrown away, but found after he went ballistic. He got arrested and thrown in jail 2 days after he dropped the stuff off.

70 year old guy who accidentially set a picture as his desktop wallpaper of himself in full makeup, bra, and thong.

Woman that wrote us a bad check and wouldn't answer our calls. Talk to a cop, he calls, lets it ring once, hangs up. The woman *69 the call, cop answers and threatens her with a warrant and she comes in a pays.

Service call to a house where they were doing a lingerie photo shoot of pregnant women. Changing room was in the same room as the computer tower my tech was working on.

Guy that gets fbi child porn virus, removes hd, smashes with hammer. Puts two lawyers on retainer, comes to see me, I tell him it is a fake, he breaks down and starts crying in my office.

Woman who wants me to install hidden security cameras in her bedroom because she believes her ex husband is sneaking into her house, putting roofies in her her beverages in the fridge, then sneaking back into her house and molesting her.

Mentally impared guy, who blacked out in the shower, has a gaping, bleeding head wound, blood running down the side of his head and shirt, comes into the shop and wants to get his laptop fixed before he goes to the hospital.

Service call to a board room computer with projector and video conferencing. Find still picture in the my pictures folder of employee watching the screen with his pants down, one hand on the mouse, and you can guess where the other hand was.