Potential Client Letter

[Jamie3188]

Hi Guys,

I have drafted a Potential Client Letter and wondered if anyone else has done this before?
What things would you include and would anyone have any examples of their own they are willing to share with me?

Thanks

[cmonova]

I'm sure quite a few people have done letters. Why don't you put yours so it's easier to comment on it.

[Jamie3188]

See Below for the Letter

The_TechGroup_-_Potetial_Client_Letter.zip

[cmonova]

I would put this first in your list:
We put you, the client first!

I would take this line out:
We look forward to any response we may get back from you.

Maybe instead add something like:
The TechGroup looks forward to hearing from you. Mention this letter and get an instant 10% off any service call.

I'd take this out:
Bottom line is we are here to give you peace of mind and making sure you are safe and secure from all those threats out there.

[Martyn]

Looks ok to me. Just one thing, I personally think No Fix, No Fee is either something you do or not rather than be a promotional offer of some sort.

[0ldfart]

The idea is good, but I can see a number of problems with the copy itself.

The letter needs to be shortened. The terms of phrase need to address the customer more directly, and there is a lot of passive wording (We try our hardest to tailor our services...)

Ive uploaded some ideas to make the phrases more active and to emphasise the benefits to the customer (services, prices).

The issue of data loss raises unnecessary concerns. I would remove the references to it.

Hope this is helpful to you.

[Jamie3188]

Thanks very much for your input and will be making amendments