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nXtGenPC
07-21-2010, 04:02 AM
This is a letter I am thinking about doing, just to give to local business, and business near any future clients

Please tell me what you think:

http://nxtgenpc.com/jfiles/Sales%20Letter%20Ver%201.0.pdf

Please note, I just looked and it seems that when I saved this as a PDF, Word screwed up the font for "Long Island Computer repair" and my phone number on the top, there the same as nXtGenPC just smaller..

layoric
07-23-2010, 01:38 PM
Letter looks great! Pricing comparison, what you can do for them, bolded points - I think it's very well laid out. If you NEED some critique though, perhaps shorten the introduction of yourself/company just to make the letter even shorter. The attention span of everyone seems to be very short nowadays.

sedigital
07-23-2010, 03:22 PM
As has been discussed, I'd probably stay away from the price comparisons. Or, at least say "Competitors price" rather than "Geek Squad".

The problem with large corporations is that we're all techs and we know the quality of work they do (or complete lack thereof). However, they have a fantastic marketing team, very well designed and layed out stores, and people like that. I think people often think they're getting a better service at one of these stores, so a direct comparison which reminds people of that marketing may not be what you want.

One thing that I would seriously think about is offering some sort of guarantee. This will truly differentiate you from your competitors. Maybe it's a 100% Satisfaction Guarantee (I'm currently working on developing this for my business) that doesn't go into great deal, but it gives you a clear competitive edge. Right now people look at your list there and they can probably think of a few places that do all of that, and setting yourself completely apart is always a good thing.

I guess the last question I have is what makes this letter stand out? If this is in your mail box, what will differentiate it from all the other mail in your mail box? Reality is that if you drop this off at a clients place it likely won't be looked at very long, unless you engage the customer immediately (we only have seconds with print and web media to attract a customer).

What I would probably do is make some minor changes, such as what layoric suggested, hit the pavement, hand this thing out door to door (in person) and then also ask questions to see what peoples needs are. After a couple months of leaving them alone, create new ads to cater to their needs directly. All in all, that's all marketing is - getting information and catering to the information you've gathered.

nXtGenPC
07-25-2010, 01:26 AM
Thanks guys! I have made some major changes here in ver 2, and like you guys said I took out the price comparison and I decided to call one of my clients to get a review (I knew she was going to give me a good one, is that bad? :p )

Sorry I uploaded it in .docx instead of PDF, my laptop dosn't have Acrobat Pro on it.

http://nxtgenpc.com/jfiles/

Go there and click on ver 2.1

Thanks!

John

P.S. This letter will be handed to the office manager when I am out visiting local business, not a mail box drop.

sedigital
07-26-2010, 02:57 PM
Looks really good!

I would just make that testimonial pop a bit more (maybe put it in a text box with a different color background so that it stands out a bit). The other thing that I'd do, is maybe bold the section on "Why choose us?"

Other than that, it looks great!