No matter what your job is, there is a pretty good chance you have a story to tell. It might be a dumb customer or the time when something very weird happened. Most repair jobs for a Computer Technician are fairly standard but occasionally we run into something interesting. Unlike the seemingly dangerous job of the Pizza delivery person, Computer Technicians have to go inside of people homes and potentially stay there for hours which can often be frightening or funny. Here are some of our stories:

Robogeek writes:
Went to a house in the bad part of Bloomington.. pulled up and it was obviously a crack house. The call was for ‘couldn’t connect to the internet’ and they sent me out with a modem. I get in there and the place is full of clothes with tags on them, lawnmowers, chainsaws, baby clothes - you name it. All this in a tiny 2 room apartment.
I replaced the modem but that wasn’t the problem - there was a no dial tone error. I start to tell them I need other parts, and they say I’m not leaving till its fixed (with a hand in the waistband). I say I need another part I have to go get. They finally let me go out to my car and I got the heck out of there and called the cops. They went there and sure enough everything was stolen, they had lots of guns, and they were selling things on eBay.

Best part was the contractor that hired me to go there refused to pay because I didn’t resolve the problem. That was one of my very first national contractor WO’s

Bryce (me) writes:
One time I had an onsite job in a really rich area on a saturday morning. I arrived at 10am and was shown to the computer which was in a girls bedroom. The father tells me what I needed to do and left me to it. Fifteen minutes later I was working away and a attractive girl (the typical rich-girl blonde honey) walks in wearing nothing but her underwear. I was just as surprised to see her as she was to see me. She ran out of the room and that was the last I ever saw of her.
It turns out that she went and had a shower a few minutes before I arrived, I was let into her room by her father and a 15 minutes later she did the nudie run back to her bedroom to get some clothes. Seeing a almost naked rich girl put a smile on my face for the rest of the day.

dunndw writes:
I had one sweet little old couple with a HUGE German Shepard. The poor lady almost fainted when he came RUNNING into the room right at me…only to spin around and promptly sit on my lap. Of course it took me MUCH longer to setup their router typing around him. He would not move. Not aggressive at all, just he’d been outside all day long with no one home and he demanded attention from anyone and everyone. He actually tried to get into my truck when I left….made me wonder if he was being mistreated.
Would have taken him home too…if my dog was socialized in the least little bit.

Focuz writes:
I went to a job for motherboard replacement. After replacing the motherboard I went to turn on the machine and seen that the wallpaper is gay porn. Now being a professional I didn’t say anything, I just called the end user over to let them know its working. The owner a middle aged male blushes and asks me if I can change that before his wife comes home and sees it. Supposably he downloaded a virus that spread it throughout his computer and he poured water over the whole thing, thinking it would be better to pay for a new machine then to have to explain it to his wife.

Sincraft writes:
Walked into a house where the people piled their trash in their kitchen where they had a path to the microwave and the fridge.
The bedrooms had pictures of japanese animation on all of the walls.
There were needle laying on the ground in 3 different areas THAT I COULD SEE
And I wont disgust you with the rest by telling you what type of smells and stains I had seen in various pieces and parts of the room and decor.
I was to troubleshoot a motherboard for issue on their internet connectivity. I recycled the cable modem, then the router just by pulling the power cables and not having to set anything down etc.
Everything worked fine after that, in which they stated they recently moved their equipment around.
I had him sign with a pen, then dropped out walking out…walked across the street to the rite aid and bought some disinfecting wipes…and scrubbed down completely.
I called it my initiation.

Robogeek writes:
I had a really gross one out in Cali. A USNET case door replacement on a gateway I believe it was. It was in Palm Springs right off of Palm Canyon, so not a bad area. Get in the house and it REEKED! Food everywhere, clothes laying all over the place and a large stinky woman waddling through it to show me the PC. Opened the bedroom door and there are sex toys all over the place! Not a few.. and not just the common ones. S&M stuff, things the size of baseball bats, paddles.. you think of it, she had it.

So she proceeds to tell me she is a sex therapist and shows me her license. Then she start talking about how she helps people out by working through their fantasies. I think she is hinting at something else. I didn’t say a word the whole time and she wouldn’t shut up.

Now this is a probably 300lb woman, mid 40’s or so wearing a blue robe with food stains all down the front, greasy hair that hasn’t been washed in ages, A mole on her cheek with literally a 6 inch hair growing out of it, and emitting some of the worst smelling odors I’ve eve encountered - and I’ve hung out with bikers!

I dunno what kind of people have fantasies about that, but if you do - you can have her!
I should have given her my bosses phone number - revenge for sending me there!

Most painful one was a PC under a desk - I was opening the case to check the fan and a cricket jumped out and landed on my shirt. I jumped, slammed my head on the bottom of the metal desks braces and got 6 stitches for all my trouble.

If you have your own computer technician story, submit it to news [at] technibble [dot] com and I will post it in our next round of stories.